It's just too big to smoulder there, it feels I'll never win
It always seems I cry so much, and never will it end
No matter how much pours from me, it's more than I intend
No one can understand my thoughts, no one can feel my pain
Because that pain belongs to me, and here it comes again
My body, oh, my body, how it aches to every nerve
My joints have seized, my cheeks are wet, tears run off every curve
My feet are standing in a pool of copious salty water
I've got to stop this crying, yes I do, I really oughta
So part of me is saying "Hey! you gotta let it out"
Another part is staying "Stop those tears, and don't you pout!"
So what to do? To cry or not? A see-saw of despair
I take a breath, I let it out, proceed to pull out hair
This anguish, can I let it go, can I leave it behind?
Can I just take a little step, attempt to free my mind?
This pain, it feels uncomfortable, I'll choose to let it go
It's so destructive to myself, I do not need this woe
I take that pain, I roll it up, create a painful ball
I throw that ball with all my might, it smashes on a wall
It bounces back, it hits me and it really knocks me flat
That self-created ball of pain that wants me in combat
So fight? I want to fight, I want my soul to self-destruct?
Well, that's an easy way to go, "Destroy!" I now instruct
Now motionless, now limp and lying crumpled on the floor
I feel no pain, I feel no sense of purpose, to the core
And in my silent pondering, I know it's not the way
So I'll rise up and surge ahead, perhaps another day.
Copyright © Sharon K. 2000
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