| |
WACKO
This week the greatest show on earth
was the announcement of the verdict on Michael Jackson child molestation
charges.
I desperately wanted him to be both acquited and proven innocent but
was he in fact, Bad?
The case was far from black and white. He may not have been
guilty of the more serious molestation charges, but what he certainly
did was moonwalk backwards into a bedroom full of pornography, hand
over 'jesus juice' to minors and say "don't stop till you get enough"
before grabbing his crotch making his high growly sound and pointing
into the air.
The trouble is, in my mind's eye he's still to some extent this guy
-
- innocent, talented, cute as a button and devoutly sane.
But as someone once said to George Best - Where did it all go Wrong?
Certainly, "The Wiz" and Captain
EO were mistakes and singing a love song to a rat would certainly
have Barbara Walters screwing up those judging eyebrows of hers. But
we have to look to more recent times to see things spinning wildly out
of control.
TIMELINE OF DECLINE - moonwalk>bubbles>oxygen tent>nose falls
off>dangling infant syndrome>court case
 
The trouble is, Jackson is, and has always been, surrounded by people
who regard everything he does as nothing short of miraculous. His laundry
detail probably claps when he makes skid marks on his undies.
He IS in Neverland. He is NEVER wrong and is NEVER told he has gone
too far.
If I were his friend, when he said to me -
"Jimi, I'm going to get more plastic surgery to make my nose the
size of a pea"
I would say -
"A zucchini will do, Mike"
But no one ever says "A Zuchini will do" to Michael Joe Jackson
do they?
Regarding
his surgery Jackson has recently said that he has only ever had two
plastic surgery procedures in his life. Both on his nose. At almost
the same time a pig coasted in for a landing at LA International airport.
Unfortunately the face and image is now a large part of the problem.
"He looks like a freak show, he must be guilty!"
Jackson's changing face seems to reflect the journey within; from innocence
to depravity and poor record sales...
The man in the mirror is now a more frightening apparition than the
character he played in the thriller video ever was.
 
"Helen Bonham carter big fan"
Still, as I watch his convoy arrive at court, I find myself yelling
"Beat it!" at the screen...
I
certainly don't want Michael Jackson to join my growing list of fallen
heros.
Gary Glitter, for instance, jailed in the '90's for possesion of child
pornography.
His album "Glitter" was the first record I ever brought and
when I was young. I really liked him. As it turns out, he would have
probably liked me as well.
What
next?
Captain beefheart fiddles with lamas at zoo.
John Pilger admits he wears Nikes and drives a Hummer.
Colin Meads Gay Shock!
Nooooooooo!!!!!!!
After the verdict is announced a 53 year old clown outside the court
picks up a white balloon, inhales it's contents, and sings "I'll
be there" in a high voice. The Micheal Jackson impersonator next
standing next to him grabs his crotch. A fight ensues. The thing is
this is the last thing Jackson needs (Who does need it?).
Michael has had a nasty encounter with the one thing often missing from
his life - reality. He needs to hang round with Austrians. His family
needs to tell him when his behavior is inappropriate.
"I'm building a theme park in my trousers"
"No, Michael!"
He needs to be shown that one of the things a family require from a
family member is an operational face. Then he might get back on track
and moon walk his way back into
our hearts.
...........................
In Bali today Schapelle Corby was sentenced to a slow death by gradual
mediocre rice consumption in a case that has outraged Australian lynch
mobs everywhere. In turn the many outraged Australians, who have misspelt
letters and emails have outraged now balding english teachers everywhere-
"this non-since must stop" and
"Do they think we are stupit"
being two examples of the many attrocities against english.
The strong defence case "I didn't do it" - fell on deaf ears
(also beady little eyes and irregular teeth).
Outside the court later Rachelle-May Wilson(and something french sounding
stuck on the end) from the Gold Coast had this to say-
"The bloody mongrels. They didn't even have hamburgers till we
came over here.. They dismissed our case so.. dismissively ....I mean..
.why would she bring coals over here anyway?"
Even hearsay testimony from a convicted rapist failed to sway the inscrutable
and shifty indonesians.
 In Australia the
controversy widened amid calls to boycott media personality Derryn Hinch,
who has suggested that the massive public support for Schapelle Corby
is based on the fact that she is 'young and pretty' something the defence
team strenously denies.
"He hasn't seen her without her makeup on"
Meanwhile the 'rat infested' prosecution case is based upon a load of
real evidence and the incidental fact that Corby was caught 'red-handed'
with the marijuana.
The scandalous assertion that 'our Schapelle' should have noticed that
her bag, containing relatively light-weight items, was 4.5 kilograms
heavier is easily explained by the fact that she is, in fact, training
to become a beauty therapist and is therefore uncommonly strong.
"I wouldn't have noticed it" said Brian Mullet a blind,
deaf, quadraplegic torso from
queensland who has lost all his senses except for his sense of outrage.
Overlooked
in the rush to judgement on the judgement were Bali Chief Judge Linton
Sirait's glaring omissions when he discussed the perils of Marijuana.
The neglected Marijuana hazards include:
- The pathological advancement of the criminal association of desparate
food groups.
Pickles, peanut butter, jam, cheese, honey, a whole duck - often all
forced together in the same sandwich.
- The epidemic loss of car keys.
- Causing people to enjoy terrible science fiction movies with outlandish
plots:
Exhibit a - Star Trek IV - "A giant chocolate log has come to earth
to resume a conversation it once had with a whale. If that fails to
happen, the world will be destroyed. Kirk and Spock go back in time
to find a whale that speaks chocolate fluently"
Exhibit b - Anything with Vin Deisel in it.
Here the unholy convergence 0f Marijuana, Man and Movie not so much
'suspends' disbelief as kidnaps it, throws it in someone else's luggage
and sends it to Bali for a holiday.
|
|
