Captain Beaky's Christmas Pantomime

It's Christmas time throughout the land
And Captain Beaky and his band
That's Timid Toad, Reckless Rat
Artful Owl and Batty Bat
Are painting a big cardboard sign
That reads "The Woodland Pantomime"

"In my mind." said Captain Beaky, "there isn't any question
My name should be above the title as it was my suggestion"
"Hold on a minute there," said Rat, "this piece of cardboard's mine"
"But only I," said Artful Owl, "can spell pantomime"
"That's very true," said Timid Toad, "and he spelt woodland, too"
Said Rat, "Well woodland looks all wrong, there should be one more U"

"Let's not argue now," said Owl, "the play's the thing to plan
I favour Humpty-Dumpty or even Peter Pan"
"We haven't got a crocodile or clock" said Reckless Rat
Said Bat, "We could do Cinderella, I bet we all know that"
"He's right," said Beaky. "Yes," said Owl, "I fear the point has missed us
With Bat and Rat to play the part we've got the ugly sisters.
Timid Toad of course can play the part of Cinderella"
Said Beaky "Bags I play the prince, that handsome charming fella"
"Agreed," said Owl, "Of course you'll need me as your acting tutor"
Said Reckless Rat, "How'd you like a quick punch up the hooter?
Bat and me's not playing parts unless they're ones we've chosen"
Said Timid Toad, "P-p-please let's decide, my f-f-feet are getting f-f-frozen"
Said Captain Beaky, "That's it, Toad, we don't have to think twice"
And under PANTOMIME he wrote the words ON ICE.

At that moment Sid the Snake swung down from a tree
And hissed in Captain Beaky's ear "Is there a part for me?"
And then he went on to explain he wasn't really bad
And when you're lonely and unloved at Christmas time it's sad
"Well, I can't see why not," said Owl, "but can you dance and sing?"
"I can hiss," said Hissing Sid, "Hissssssssssssssssssss"
Said Owl, "Right, Demon King"

And so they all did pantomime, skating on a pond
And Hissing Sid played Demon King, the Beanstalk and the Wand
Dick Whittington was played by Owl (he'd painted all the signs)
And Toad played Sleeping Beauty (because he can't remember lines)
Bat and Rat were ugly sisters, the kind you'd love to hate
And Beaky, dressed as handsome prince, found he couldn't skate.

Oof!

So by the cardboard sign he stood, a paintbrush in his hand
And over PANTOMIME he wrote BY CAPTAIN BEAKY'S BAND
And as the Demon King got cheers for everything he did
He added on in smaller letters GUEST STAR: HISSING SID.

(Thanks to Allan Williams for sending these in)