to...
this?
| 13 July | The Waiheke Memorial Entry | fingerbib |
Oh Christ... so that was a greener social landscape, huh? I really don't know... considering that I managed to have an explosive battle with Kris a week ago, a la Waiheke, I'm not sure too much has changed. If we cast ourselves back to Waiheke, I remember things like swimming in the sea at night in boxer shorts (wow), eating croissant bread and milk on the floor, and having long and involved Shortland Street discussions with Isla and Laura. Am I nostalgic for these days? Do I wish I were doing that now rather than sitting in front of my computer? Not really. My life will continue to move, without me if I allow myself to get absorbed by days of old™, and even though (given my retrospective project, and the entire them of this entry) this sounds hypocritical, I don't judge my self-worth off these experiences. For that I am glad. The quality of my life isn't determined by the people I know or what I share with them either... and it almost surprised me to realise this, but it was also comforting... a great release.
Speaking of releases, my "Nan" (the one that I spoke of in anger not so long ago) died last Friday, I did the whole funeral thang, and made 2 trips to and from Gisborne (1 by plane, however). Well, it truly was an experience, and I want to express my feelings about her a) before I knew she was sick (hell you saw them), b) once i found out she was sick, c) when I saw her in the throes of her sickness, and d) post-mortem. The plain and simple truth is, I can't be fucked at 2:04 in the morning. When I arrived, she could not recognise me... she sat there, head in hands, trembling. I approached her... she put her hands on either side of my head... pushed me back slightly to focus her eyes on me, and addressed me as "Jeremy"... deary me.
Oh well... another chapter of my life just beginning? All those affected by the death (my grandpa, my mother) will be leading quite different lives I expect... It's just lucky that change = progression, huh? Anyway, I'd like to leave with something blurted out by my Nan on the first night I arrived in Gisborne (the only on which she was even slightly alive), in the middle of conversation, Rumination of the Moment™: "We musn't stop being silly." - Perhaps you had to be there, but the reaction of everyone in the room... heheh... tear to my eye material. Ok bye-bye!
| 8 June | Coming Soon! | no, really... gone |
to...
this?
| 8 June | Life Is Over You | gone |
Funny thing is, I don't remember making that last entry. I have no idea where the rumination came from (none whatsoever, but I liiike it!) The passing of time is such a weird thing, but reading back over entries (actually, I can't bear to go beyond the last 3 or so) is really scary, and mayhaps sheds some light on it. I think the suggestion that all human emotional states are created by different chemical balances in the body is a little too accurate in this case (if unromantic) because it's often like I'm a different person every day. Over the week I've managed to catch up with a lot of my friends, and events such as the Ludwig Van concert on Thursday and the "partay" last Sunday at Matt's are about as enriching as life has got in the past few months. Jebus. Rumination of the Moment™: "But you see, who's in Heaven? Is there anyone in hell? Take care, take care."
| 28 May | Swollen Hand Blues | fade |
Things could only get better? Try the return of Nin Thomas, after missing half the semester she walks in and starts going over stuff we've already done in Law, the funny thing is, she gives the wrong answers. This is as good as it gets.
Hold on, no... not quite. English - the play "Fen". Socialists/Feminists expressing their xenophobic Oriental fears. Fucking British. "Japanese Businessman: We like your Earth very much, Val: Kill me." Those crazy Brits. Rumination of the Moment™:
| 25 May | Atonement | angst addict |
Work is treating me well, scoring me another $20 tip tonight that I promptly put in my apron and left there (boss finds it in apron, chases me up about it... fuck) and there is a certain beauty working next door. Meanwhile, a workmate wonders if I'm gay (she's going to get an ass-slapping tomorrow night from me) and I endure a sizeable helping of "work and relationship politics" - frustrating, frustrating, frustrating. I get mixed messages from everyone I know, going from warm to cold as hell, I doubt myself like crazy. Nobody comes, nobody goes, it's awful! I only receive affirmation of my "goodness" (this says something about how I value myself) by getting an A in my Waiting For Godot essay worth 20% of my English paper. That feels good. I would have hated to get a poor mark, because really enjoying a piece of literature then getting a poor mark for my "take on it" would have been wholly discouraging. Then I remember that marking is a totally subjective thing, University is a bunch of commercial arse with no real regard for the talents or shortfalls of its students and it's a lonely, lonely world for those of us who can't feign extroversion.
I hope you enjoyed this meandering entry. Expect a "pictorial" (may I say visual essay?) entry sooner or later riddled with photographs of myself in provocative positions (oh the joys of the digicam). Anyone feeling distanced from me who actually reads this, please ring me! The chances are I feel so distanced from everyone I can't even work out how to remedy things by this stage. This is somewhat a cry for help, but hey, it'll be as good for you as it is for me, baby! Yes Max Bania, I mean you. Rumination of the Moment™: "The power of love, is a beautiful thing..."
| 13 May | Clarification | +-ions |
How I express myself is my means of doing so, and it is not up to others to direct me on how I should be doing this, and what is "reasonable" etc. I am out of school, I am a young adult. I take responsiblity for myself and my relationships, and if I think one of them is about to crumble just because someone disapproves of how I act, you can bet your bacon I will attempt to leave them behind, at least as far as my hugely sentimental disposition allows. Rumination of the Moment™: Fuck that felt good to say.
| 7 May | Everything is Broken. | the madman |
...Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
That wasn't the end of my fun for the day. When I got home, I found shit smeared on the toilet seat. My fucking incontinent grandparents are staying with me... 'tis they who committed this grievous atrocity against my toilet seat. It's one of those things that sends shivers down your spine to behold. Ugh, just the tiniest smear yet enough to keep me away from the toilet for a few weeks. Delightful.
Lo and behold, Ron Jones has news for me! With my "Nan" (my Mum's mum, and not my Dad's mum, who fucked up his entire life for him apparently) in Auckland he took the opportunity to take a blood test from her. She was apparently getting tired of late, and the "rellies" in Gisborne had asked her to go to a doctor with no success. Well, Ron Jones, after sucking her blood finds that she has an "EPL" (or something) level of 80, when the normal person has an "EPL level" of 4. Not good news. Tomorrow come further blood tests, the funny thing is, we're not even allowed to tell her that she's as good as dead until we know the full diagnosis. Depressing.
Haha! But the fun doesn't end there. Oh no, over dinner last night my Dad (who has over the past 2 months sold ALL his worldly belongings in the hope of getting closure on his past) announced that he blamed all his problems on his mother (who as you may remember, is tucked up in a rest home). Hoho, not only that, but the next time she develops a chest infection he is going to "refuse her right to medical care" and let her die. You see, my dad actually controls all her rights and affairs, down to the basest securities ensured by the Bill of Rights Act 1990. As a law student I find this totally absurd, that she ever would have surrendered these to my Dad. But fuck it... she won't miss this world. All the harm my Dad believes she did to him and his sister (now deceased due to "self-destructive behaviour") would seem to short-list her on Death's list. I find the fact that my Dad's announcement did not shock my brother nor myself the most shocking thing of all. Why can't I feel something?
Things falling apart with my friends, one in particular (the fun's all to guess when you play Guess Who?™ I don't even remember that slogan...jeez) who is giving me much grief. Things may resolve themselves (they always do?), but by the same token, I don't feel the same about this particular person as I did before the events of the past two weeks. Goddammitall.
HooRaH! My brother rented a Beat Takeshi movie from Newmarket today (about the Yakuza, surprise, surprise) that he had been contemplating renting until his history lecturer showed him a section from it today. Sold! Anyway, it is now in his possession for the next 7 days, and given my new-found obsession with the man, it's unlikely that I'll miss it. As a parting note, Beat Takeshi is Korean-Japanese! I can't believe how much my respect for the Koreans has increased of late. They truly are a race of kings. Heheh. Rumination of the Moment™: "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - That from Albert Einstein. Ciao.
| 2 May | When the Tigers Broke Free | Mitsuya |
1. Possible Worlds - Yup, still at number one, and probably because of its original perspective. As I've said, it's provocative and isolating yet also profoundly optimistic. I have never seen dialogue delivered in such a beautifully nihilistic fashion, and if you haven't already, you're never going to see it! Not in Wellington, not in your life! Bwahahaha! [Okay, this is probably in the same vein as "Pi", in that I will track it down somewhere in obscurity and force everyone I know to watch it, then find they don't even like it...imbeciles. - Ed]
2. Gonin - Beat Takeshi the maaaaaaaa-an! Well, after reading the review in the festival guide about it being "It's as if Sam Peckinpah, Quentin Tarantino, Baz Luhrman, Beat Takeshi got blitzed on mescaline and collaborated on the ultimate homoerotic buddy/revenge film." Now admittedly I was somewhat intrigued by the icon "gay sex" in the guide, and it may have even been what, when coupled with the promise of Battle Royal director/star Beat Takeshi I was keen to see this. I must admit, it did not disappoint. Despite the absence of gay sex (which in my opinion, is handled very tastefully) the homoerotic "subtext" is quite fascinating. The claim to being the "ultimate revenge film" is totally justified, and again, I think only the Japanese are capable of such tragic brilliance (even if I've seen this in a thousand anime before). When the 4 essential characters of the movie (along with a couple of others) are gay, it makes for fascinating viewing, especially because of all the emotion involved, it becomes difficult to choose "good from bad". I think basically what Beat Takeshi wanted to get across is that all homosexuals are bad. Just kidding! Anyway, it's another of the films that is at risk of being banned so I doubt it will ever appear in NZ on VCD or other associated media...consider yourselves spared?
3. The Isle - Who said Koreans were all proud and arrogant? This exposes (not Koreans) but mankind at his basest of state of mind. We see people break under pressure (not to mention self-mutilation, fish hook violence, prostitution and suicide) all shot in the most stunning and tranquil of environs, a wee fishing village at which people stay on small pontoon float thingies and fish over several days (don't forget being brought out prostitutes). Essentially, it turns into a somewhat twisted love story (complete with jealousy and all that carry-on) which while admittedly totally shocking in places has also recycled itself several times in my thoughts since I saw it, and to me that epitomises what a film "should be". [I don't think I could put up with any more of the Ed's bad witticisms, so I've had to destroy him - Tim] [You WHAT?! - Ed]
4. The Experiment - Germany is victorious! My, my, will reducing humans to the level of animals ever grow old? This film has a definite novelty, and at the same time a sense of the triumph of the human spirit (not to mention its capacity for evil). Knowing that its based almost entirely on an actual event is all the more shocking and it was engrossing in that it filled its audience with a sense of entrapment and isolation (like that the prisoners felt). Unfortunately, (and like the isle) it became a little to graphic and involving not to be totally horrifying at times. After watching this film it could only be said Germans are cool (however Germans that exact horrible and bloody vengeance upon their former schoolmates are not). The use of Linkin Park within the movie definitely destroys much of it's cinematic merit (just kidding, there's only about 10 seconds of it, but still...) and condemns it to the (still very respectable) third [Make that fourth - Ed] place on my ever-growing [Make that now-stagnant and decaying - Ed] list of "Incredible Films".
5. Barking Dogs Never Bite - Korea's second masterpiece! Actually, I'm surprised at the number of Korean films that made it to the festival, and I wish I'd seen a couple more of them (now that I'm over any belief that they truly are the toilet of East Asia, anyway). I originally considered throwing this below The Happiness of the Katakuri's but after a conversation with Finn I realise it's more important that I can convey my overall enjoyment of each film and rank them in order of that, rather than their "cinematic merit" (which if incomprehensible, I'm sure THOTK had in abundance). Basically, it's another black comedy with some nice twists. I think the characters of the story really make it worthwhile (along with a couple of, "oh my god that's so touching I'm in tears" moments). I think it explores the idea of happiness, what is is, and how it can be brought about (ironically moreso than The Happiness of the Katakuri's does) and even if none of my friends would go and I was forced into seeing it with my Mum (actually, I invited her, and as much as I wish I could have been alone at times to more fully appreciate the movie, she really enjoyed it, which pleased me) it was still a pleasure to watch. My only complaint being the way in which animal violence is treated so casually. In fact, it's the sort of movie that someone like Isla would see and then campaign to have banned in New Zealand (this is giving me ideas guys!) because of it's distasteful references to eating dogs. It's just lucky I have no idea whether/how widespread this practise exists in Korea and I can't be horribly scathing.
6. The Happiness of the Katakuri's - Japanese Musical Comedy...need I say more? [This had to move to make way for a few "late entries", if only because I found them more interesting as movies. That sounds kinda silly to say, considering this is one of the most "interesting" movies you could see - Ed.] My only complaint is that it was weakened by the occasional whining audience member. It definitely has a tragicomic undertone (which admittedly I was not expecting). Obviously it wouldn't be Japanese if it didn't attempt some "insight" (no, I'm not going to dignify it with the term 'biting social commentary') and that is probably why it didn't come in number one. Oh, and it made me cry...nobody makes tim fucken grey cry and gets away with it.
7. Dark Side of the Rainbow - Okay, okay, there were coincidences, synchronicies, whatever. [Don't get me wrong, it pains me to see this movie slip so far down the list, because it was "good fun", but as I've said, there are better movies that deserve your 10 bucks (assuming you're a Uni student) more than this one - Ed.] I enjoyed it purely because it involved Pink Floyd played really loud. If you don't like Pink Floyd, or indeed don't have an intimate knowledge of Dark Side of the Moon it may be worth missing. I've never been a fan of the Wizard of Oz myself, but the absence of dialogue managed to keep my stress levels down, and hey, it does have "coincidences" from beginning to end. So there.
8. Seance - "You better open up a window 'cause this one's a stinker!" I won't be that brutal. [As I think about this movie more and more, I remember it's really cool sequences, and they almost (nope, not quite) inspire me to hike it up the order somewhat - Ed.]It definitely had it's merits, and the plot was potentially cool...unfortunately what is pretty much a non-scary chain of unfortunate events for a pathetic husband and wife failed to grip me, if only because I felt nothing (but pity) for the two main characters. I think I may have expected this to be something like Ring, which would explain my disappointment. Never mind.
So, that wraps up the film festival for this year. To hit reality just briefly, my grandparents arrive tomorrow morning and will be staying for a while. G-reat. These are the trashy, "Fairway Lodge", timeshare apartment types. Even worse, they're coming to eat at Bodrum on Saturday (that's right, I'm working Friday/Saturday nights) night. It can't be that bad can it? My manager Mem is leaving for Turkey at the end of this week, and while it will "be a shame" to see him go, my archnemesis Suda will continue to own the place (that fucking bastard, I'll kill him). Anyway, I'm starting to sound like something of a psycho killer, au revoir.
| 28 April | Wo Ai Ni! | detain.defeat |
While the drudgery of work continues to beat me into submission, a couple of 2000 word essays have dulled my mid-semester break (as in, not doing them has made me uneasy), that said, since my visit to see "Possible Worlds" (father my child Peter Gabriel!) I've snuck in (oooooooh what a badass) to a couple of, what could only be described as "shocking", films that have broken down my perceived barriers of what and what not constitutes cinema yet again. Verdict: Enlightenment ahoy.
Now I hate to repeat material, but it's the easiest way to "slot in" where I rate these two new gems of movies, "The Experiment" and "The Isle":
1. Possible Worlds - Yup, still at number one, and probably because of its original perspective. As I've said, it's provocative and isolating yet also profoundly optimistic. I have never seen dialogue delivered in such a beautifully nihilistic fashion, and if you haven't already, I'd recommend seeing it at the Chinatown Cinema this coming Sunday at 9:30 PM.
2. The Isle - Who said Koreans were all proud and arrogant? This exposes (not Koreans) but mankind at his basest of state of mind. We see people break under pressure (not to mention self-mutilation, fish hook violence, prostitution and suicide) all shot in the most stunning and tranquil of environs, a wee fishing village at which people stay on small pontoon float thingies and fish over several days (don't forget being brought out prostitutes). Essentially, it turns into a somewhat twisted love story (complete with jealousy and all that carry-on) which while admittedly totally shocking in places has also recycled itself several times in my thoughts since I saw it, and to me that epitomises what a film "should be".
3. The Experiment - Germany is victorious! My, my, will reducing humans to the level of animals ever grow old? This film has a definite novelty, and at the same time a sense of the triumph of the human spirit (not to mention its capacity for evil). Knowing that its based almost entirely on an actual event is all the more shocking and it was engrossing in that it filled its audience with a sense of entrapment and isolation (like that the prisoners felt). Unfortunately, (and like the isle) it became a little to graphic and involving not to be totally horrifying at times. After watching this film it could only be said Germans are cool (however Germans that exact horrible and bloody vengeance upon their former schoolmates are not). The use of Linkin Park within the movie definitely destroys much of it's cinematic merit (just kidding, there's only about 10 seconds of it, but still...) and condemns it to the (still very respectable) third place on my ever-growing list of "Incredible Films".
4. The Happiness of the Katakuri's - Japanese Musical Comedy...need I say more? [This had to move to make way for the two "late entries", if only because I found them more interesting as movies. That sounds kinda silly to say, considering this is one of the most "interesting" movies you could see - Ed.] My only complaint is that it was weakened by the occasional whining audience member. It definitely has a tragicomic undertone (which admittedly I was not expecting). Obviously it wouldn't be Japanese if it didn't attempt some "insight" (no, I'm not going to dignify it with the term 'biting social commentary') and that is probably why it didn't come in number one. Oh, and it made me cry...nobody makes tim fucken grey cry and gets away with it.
5. Dark Side of the Rainbow - Okay, okay, there were coincidences, synchronicies, whatever. [Don't get me wrong, it pains me to see this movie slip so far down the list, because it was "good fun", but as I've said, there are better movies that deserve your 10 bucks (assuming you're a Uni student) more than this one - Ed.] I enjoyed it purely because it involved Pink Floyd played really loud. If you don't like Pink Floyd, or indeed don't have an intimate knowledge of Dark Side of the Moon it may be worth missing. I've never been a fan of the Wizard of Oz myself, but the absence of dialogue managed to keep my stress levels down, and hey, it does have "coincidences" from beginning to end. So there.
6. Seance - "You better open up a window 'cause this one's a stinker!" I won't be that brutal. [As I think about this movie more and more, I remember it's really cool sequences, and they almost (nope, not quite) inspire me to hike it up the order somewhat - Ed.]It definitely had it's merits, and the plot was potentially cool...unfortunately what is pretty much a non-scary chain of unfortunate events for a pathetic husband and wife failed to grip me, if only because I felt nothing (but pity) for the two main characters. I think I may have expected this to be something like Ring, which would explain my disappointment. Never mind.
So, where to from here? Well it seems that (alone) I shall travel to Barking Dogs Never Bite at 3pm tomorrow (come on! Korean black comedy!) and Gonin seems set for Thursday. One thing I can say of this festival is that it has unleashed my latent craving to watch and rant about films (however in brief) as well as providing many laughs, a few "oh god don't look at the screen" moments, and some extremely provocative ideas. I can't wait to see Visitor Q and Baise-Moi thrown back into the boiling pot next year! Rumination of the Moment:™"You're such a slut." (Oh, DISCLAIMER: This is a quote from the Isle, and really not directed at any females I know (I know females?!)
| 23 April | The Nest That Sailed the Sky | what? |
1. Possible Worlds - Wowza. Just saw this tonight, and I'd have to say it's provocative and isolating yet also profoundly optimistic. I have never seen dialogue delivered in such a beautifully nihilistic fashion, and if you haven't already, I'd recommend seeing it at the Chinatown Cinema this coming Sunday at 9:30 PM.
2. The Happiness of the Katakuri's - Japanese Musical Comedy...need I say more? My only complaint is that it was weakened by the occasional whining audience member. It definitely has a tragicomic undertone (which admittedly I was not expecting). Obviously it wouldn't be Japanese if it didn't attempt some "insight" (no, I'm not going to dignify it with the term 'biting social commentary') and that is probably why it didn't come in number one. Oh, and it made me cry...nobody makes tim fucken grey cry and gets away with it.
3. Dark Side of the Rainbow - Okay, okay, there were coincidences, synchronicies, whatever. I enjoyed it purely because it involved Pink Floyd played really loud. If you don't like Pink Floyd, or indeed don't have an intimate knowledge of Dark Side of the Moon it may be worth missing. I've never been a fan of the Wizard of Oz myself, but the absence of dialogue managed to keep my stress levels down, and hey, it does have "coincidences" from beginning to end. So there.
4. Seance - "You better open up a window 'cause this one's a stinker!" I won't be that brutal. It definitely had it's merits, and the plot was potentially cool...unfortunately what is pretty much a non-scary chain of unfortunate events for a pathetic husband and wife failed to grip me, if only because I felt nothing (but pity) for the two main characters. I think I may have expected this to be something like Ring, which would explain my disappointment. Never mind.
Well, that's it for tonight folks. In the meantime, download "The Nest That Sailed The Sky" by Peter Gabriel, the theme for Possible Worlds...unless of course you plan on seeing it. I'm not sure I've heard an instrumental piece that can fit almost any mood without offering the viewer a clear picture...but this works to great effect within the movie. Rumination of the Moment™:Because.