Vegas Cocktail
A Gundam Wing sillyfic
by Jaelle and Orla

Rated PG-13 for language and other stuff ^_^


Disclaimer: The characters in this story are not ours... sigh... They're all copyright to other people... etc... etc... Please don't sue us!


Quatre Raberba Winner lifted the bottle. "Anyone for more champagne?" he asked around the table with a smile.

Relena Darlian put her hand over the rim of her glass. "I think I've had enough," she said. "I wouldn't want to get tipsy!"

Catherine Bloom blinked. "You've only had one and a half glasses!" she pointed out. "That's hardly likely to make you drunk."

"Hmmm..." Dorothy Catalonia arched an eyebrow. "What an interesting thought... the Vice Foreign Minister for the colonies drunk..." she grabbed the bottle out of Quatre's hand and turned to Relena. "Miss Relena, _do_ have another, you're among friends here!"

Relena pulled back, looking faintly alarmed. "Uh... that's what concerns me..."

Duo Maxwell leaned across the table and laughed. "Well, you can't be half as bad as Hilde when you're plastered, Relena! When Hilde gets..."

"DUO!" Hilde Schbeiker hit her boyfriend on the back of the head. "No telling secrets at the dinner table!"

"Ow..." Duo rubbed the back of his head. "Heheheh... I'll be good, Hilde."

"Unlikely," murmured Trowa Barton from his seat beside Catherine.

"Aw... zip it Barton!"

Dorothy tried again. "Come on, Miss Relena, we're in _Vegas_, you're supposed to relax and do silly things!"

Heero put down his glass and glared at Dorothy. "She said no." He said harshly.

Relena smiled at Heero. "Thank you, Heero."

Dorothy looked disappointed. "You always do what Suicide Boy here says..."

Chang Wufei scowled at the others - especially Duo and Dorothy and swallowed his drink. "Why," he asked no one. "Am I here? On a _holiday_ proposed by MAXWELL???!"

Sally Po sighed. "Wufei, you've been asking that question ever since we got here! And for the thirty-fifth time... because we _need_ a vacation!"

Wufei's scowl deepened. "_You_ may need a vacation, Onna! _I_ do not!"

"Yes you do, you're wound up tighter than a spring," said Sally calmly. "Any further stress and you'll lose all your hair."

Everyone smirked, but said nothing as Wufei spluttered and glared at Sally. "I hardly think that a vacation _here_ will relax me!" he grumbled. "You dragged me here, against my better judgement..."

"And in handcuffs..." added Trowa softly.

The whole table cracked up, even Trowa and Heero smiled. Wufei fumed, you could practically see the smoke coming out of his ears.

"I still can't believe _you_ agreed!" he shot at Heero. "What were you thinking?!"

Heero frowned. "I don't know," he admitted.

"Actually, I think it was because Duo slipped in the suggestion with a bunch of standard requisitions," Relena said, brushing her hair out of her face.

"Lies, lies! All lies!" Duo protested.

"Heero - can we get the new upgrades done for next week? And let's get the new machines tested by then. Let's go on holiday to Las Vegas. And also I need requisition form 3C." Trowa quoted. "He was so busy looking for the form he said yes without thinking."

Everyone raised an eyebrow at this long speech from the normally reticent Gundam pilot, even Catherine looked shocked. However, before anyone could say anything more there was a knock at the door of their private dining room.

A waiter entered with the dessert trolley. The eyes of all the women and Duo lit up. Heero winced when he saw the amount of chocolate in most of the desserts. This was going to be a looooong night.

***
One hour later:

Throughly stuffed with triple chocolate fudge cake and after dinner mints Duo walked up to the drinks table and sipped the punch.

"Ugh..." he muttered and made a face.

"What's wrong?" Hilde asked.

"It's _bland_," said Duo in disgust. "There's no kick to it..." he grinned suddenly. "But that can be fixed..."

Hilde looked doubtful. "Ummm... how?"

Duo quickly checked to see that no one else was looking and pulled a hip flask from his jacket. "This..." he said. "Pure vodka, 33% alcohol."

Hilde's eyes widened. "You're not going to put _all_ of that in there!" she hissed frantically.

Duo chuckled. "No, no... just a couple of capfuls... now, keep an eye out okay?"

"Right," Hilde turned around and tried to look nonchalant. The others were paying no attention to the two by the punch. Wufei was rabbitting on about something to Sally who was obviously trying not to laugh. Trowa, Catherine, Quatre and Dorothy were lingering over their dessert and making conversation... well Trowa was listening anyway. Heero and Relena were sitting side by side, neither talking. Hilde began to relax, it looked as if Duo was going to get away...

Heero stood up. He started towards Hilde and Duo.

"Duo!" Hilde jabbed her boyfriend in the ribs. "Heero's coming! Have you finished?"

"Shit."

Hilde turned and looked at him. "What... where's the hipflask?" she asked noticing Duo's hands were empty.

Duo pointed to the punch. "In there."

Hilde blinked. "Uh oh... uhhhh... should we tell them?"

"Hell no!" Duo grabbed some jugs of fruit juice and poured some into the punch. "There that should cover it up."

"Duo... there's a _lot_ of vodka in there!"

"Hilde, Duo," Heero appeared behind them.

Duo and Hilde whirled around and grinned at Heero. He frowned. Duo gave him a cheesy grin.

"Heya, Heero, buddy... ummm... want some punch?"

Heero looked at the punch bowl. "Not if the two of you have been by it," he said and grabbed a jug of fruit juice and two glasses.

Duo and Hilde watched him leave, and then looked at each other.

"I'd say getting away from this table would be a good idea!" said Hilde.

"I agree!" Duo took her hand and they walked, casually, to the other side of the room and sat down.

"Maybe no one will drink it," suggested Hilde.

"Too late," muttered Duo.

Trowa was pouring himself a glassful.

***

Morosely Duo and Hilde watched as Wufei helped himself to his third glass of punch.

"How many does that make now?" Hilde asked.

"Four to Wufei, three to Quatre, four to Trowa, six to Dorothy, three to Catherine, three to Sally, and Relena and Heero are drinking water."

"Well, at least _they're_ safe." Duo sipped his punch. "Actually, this isn't half bad."

"Duo!"

"This is still my first glass! Sheesh!"

"I'm over here."

"So you are..." Duo tried to focus.

Sally wandered unsteadily over to the pair. "Wow, this punch sure has one hell of a kick," she said. "It's damn good though! Even Wufei said he liked it."

They watched Wufei making his way to the punch bowl. He detoured around an apparently empty space and began filling his glass again.

Sally frowned. "Does he know how alcoholic this is?" She asked. "I mean, I can REALLY taste whatever's in here, but I'm not sure he's ever drunk alcohol before."

"Uh..." Duo sweatdropped. "Sure! He knows!"

"He told us he loved it!" Hilde backed him up. "Have you mentioned it to anyone else?"

"Huh? No." Sally looked puzzled. "Why, don't they know?"

"Of course they do," Duo laughed nervously. "Ummm... we're going to the casino now."

"Ohhhh! Casino!!!" Sally squealed. "I'll come too!"

"Me too! Me too!" Catherine bounced over to them. "Ooooohhh..." Her pupils dilated.

"And me!"

"Me as well!"

"Count me in!"

"I shall also come." Wufei added. "To protect YOU woman," he sneered at Sally. Quickly, he swallowed the rest of his drink, took two steps towards the small group that was forming, changed his mind and went back for another glass. "This fruit juice is WONDERFUL!" He said. "I shall have to ask what is in it."

"Erm, guava I think." Said Hilde.

Heero and Relena looked at each other. "We're going for a walk," Heero said firmly. Relena smiled.

"That would be nice," she said quietly. The two of them set out as the rest of the group all decided to go down to the casino and do some serious gambling.

***

Sally walked over to the craps table and stared for a while.

"Are you going to watch this all night?" Demanded a testy voice at her side.

She turned to regard her partner with amusement. Wufei was holding another glass of punch, which he was drinking quickly.

"You don't _have_ to hover over me," she pointed out. "I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."

"Hmph," Wufei glared. He was starting to feel a little light-headed, and off-balance. Maybe he was allergic to guava juice.

Sally sighed and shook her head. "Hey waiter!" She flagged a passing man, "Champagne!"

"I will have one too!" Wufei put up his hand.

"Are you sure?" Sally regarded him in surprise.

Wufei sniffed. "I think I can handle _two_ glasses of champagne in one evening," he replied.

Sally shrugged, none of her business. Then she grinned. The current player was leaving and the coast was clear. She stepped up to the end of the table and put some chips down. "I'm up next," she said with a challenging smile.

The dealer smiled at her and passed her the dice. "Take your best shot pretty lady. Now, you know how this works, right. You roll the dice and..."

Sally gave the dice a practiced flick and they flew across the table.

The dealer glanced at them. "Okay, five. That's your point. Now from now on..."

"Just give me the damn dice and stand back!" Sally ordered.

The dealer raised his eyebrows and passed her the dice. Sally shook them and then grinned.

"Blow on the dice Wufei," she held them out to him. Wufei looked confused but obeyed.

"What purpose did that have?" He demanded.

Sally threw the dice.

"Five! And the lady's a winner!" The dealer smiled. "Care to try another throw?"

"You need to ask?" Sally accepted the dice and held them out to Wufei. "Come on Wuffy - the luck's favouring us tonight!!"

Wufei stared at her and then blew on the dice again.

Sally threw.

"Five!"

Shaking his head, Wufei began sipping his champagne.

***

Trowa wandered amongst the slot machines and wondered where the others had all gone. Oh well. Aimlessly he walked up to the nearest one and tried to put a coin in. It blinked at him angrily and he stared at it in confusion.

Oh, it wanted a bigger coin. He fished through his pockets and found one. Blowing the trouser lint off it he inserted it in the machine, then pulled the handle. It blinked angrily at him again.

"Now what?" He demanded.

Quatre bounced up to him. "Whatcha doin'Trowa whatcha doin' huhhuhuhuhuhuh???" He clung on to his friends arm and swayed. "Whatcha doin'?"

Trowa gestured with his other arm. "It's blinking at me."

Quatre tried to focus on the machine in front of him. He felt strangely hyperactive and this was boring. "Ummmm... Does it have a self-destruct function?"

"No."

"Then it can't be that..." Quatre resisted the urge to whine about being bored. "Ah ha! You have to press this button!" He lunged forward.

Coins cascaded from the machine and landed at their feet.

Trowa looked down. "I think you broke it!"

"Congratulations dear! You're a winner!"

"Why yes, I am!" Quatre beamed at the woman behind him. "How could you tell?"

The woman stared at him. "Uh... I think your girlfriend needs to lie down for a bit dear," she said to Trowa.

"You could be right," Trowa was having difficulty working out what was going on. He started to move away.

"Wait! Don't forget your winnings!" The woman handed Trowa a bucket and helped him fill it with the coins.

Quatre hung on to Trowa's arm for dear life. Something was very wrong here. For starters, he was almost certain that he was not on a boat. So why was everything rocking?

Trowa held the bucket in one hand and supported Quatre with the other arm. "Have you been at the champagne?" He demanded.

Quatre blinked. "You know I don't drink alcohol." He reminded Trowa.

"Mmmm..." Trowa slowly and unsteadily made his way across the room. Curse this casino - who designed it? M C Escher??? "Have you seen any of the others?"

Quatre tried to remember. "Sally and Wufei were obscured by chips last I saw. Duo and Hilde were playing poker, Catherine and Dorothy were ordering obscure cocktails, at least I hope they were."

"Huh?"

"Either that or they were being INCREDIBLY crass and trying to pick up the bartender."

"WHAT???" Trowa changed direction. "We're going to the bar!"

"Right," said Quatre. "Now just hold the floor steady while I walk."

"Kay."

***

"Hmmm..." Dorothy considered. "I believe I will have a Sex Machine."

Catherine smiled. "In that case I want a Steamy Lemon Sherbert."

The bartender grimly mixed their drinks and reminded himself that he was too old to be blushing at these orders.

"Catherine... What are you _doing_?" Trowa demanded as he and Quatre finally made it to the bar.

"Having a couple of drinks." Catherine gestured to the empty glasses in front of her. "Want to share an Orgasm with me?"

Trowa choked.

"Quatre, want a Comfortable Screw?" Dorothy asked.

"Love one," Quatre said automatically. "What?"

"It's an alcoholic drink," Trowa said. "So you can't have it."

"Party pooper," Dorothy sniffed. "What's in the bucket?"

"Coins." Trowa responded.

"What did you do? Hold up a parking metre?" Dorothy stared in the bucket at all the coins.

"Won 'em," Trowa replied.

"We're winners!" Quatre giggled. "Or at least I am! Wait a second... I'm a man, not a girl!"

"Glad to hear it," Catherine said. "So have you two been gambling?"

"Trowa has," Quatre said. "Not me. I'm good."

Trowa sighed.

Dorothy shrieked. "You mean you've been gambling, without US???" She jumped to her feet. "Come on! Come on! We've got to strike while the luck is hot! That is the beauty of war!!! I mean... gambling!!!" She tugged at Trowa's arm. "Catherine, help me move your great lump of a brother!"

Catherine leant her weight to the effort.

"Here's your drinks," the bartender put them onto the bar.

"I'm not going back to those machines..." Trowa said.

"Drink this," Catherine handed him a glass. Trowa gratefully took it and swallowed it in one gulp. His throat was so dry... *ack*

Trowa gasped and tried to breathe, succeeding only in coughing.

"He's weak now!" Catherine yelled. "Pull!"

Catherine, Dorothy and Quatre (who wasn't sure what was going on but hey, it was fun) yanked Trowa back towards the machines.

"Let's try THIS one first!"

***

Two hours later:

Heero and Relena wandered along the strip. "It's so pretty," Relena said. "All the lights."

Heero looked at the garish hotels and casinos. "Right." He said. "Perfect for distance targetting."

Relena thumped him gently in the arm. "Please stop thinking like a Gundam pilot," she said. "You are not on a mission."

Heero sighed. "We've been walking around for hours," he said. "Aren't you tired?"

Relena linked her arm in his and smiled. "Not really," she said. "But I suppose we should go back. Duo and Hilde have probably gambled themselves into poverty by now."

Heero grinned. "Let's definitely go back."

Laughing, they were about to turn back when Relena let out a gasp. "Oh! Look at that!"

Heero looked where she was pointing and paled. The street she was indicating was lined with small wedding palaces.

Relena gave him a mischevious look. "Shall we go and peek inside?"

Heero felt himself blushing. "Alright," he said roughly. "But _just_ peek."

"Scaredy-cat." Relena teased. "What, afraid I'll drag you inside and force you to marry me at gunpoint?"

Heero looked at her. "Do you _have_ a gun?"

Relena looked insulted. "Of course not!"

"Then I'm not afraid."

Relena grinned and dragged him down the street. They peeked inside various wedding palaces, each more garish than the next, until they finally came to the most brightly lit of them all.

"Ugh..." Relena wrinkled her nose. "Imagine getting married _here_! It would be as tacky as..."

"Congratulations!!!!" the door to the wedding palace banged open and a couple emerged, confetti falling around them.

Relena and Heero stared.

"I love you... Mrs Chang!" Wufei kissed Sally on the mouth.

Sally giggled. "And I you... Mr Po!" she hugged him.

"Bwah...?" Relena pointed a shaky finger at the two Preventers. "D-do you see what I see?!"

Heero made no reply. His jaw was nearly at street level.

Wufei swept Sally up into his arms, and promptly collapsed. They sat on the sidewalk, giggling insanely and cuddling.

Relena took a step forward. "We should hel..."

Heero grabbed her arm. "We're leaving. Now!" he said and yanked her away.

"But..." Relena began.

"Congratulations!" The door of another wedding palace was flung open and another couple emerged.

Heero and Relena froze.

"Oh... My... God..." said Heero slowly.

Duo and Hilde broke off their deep kiss and stared at each other.

"This was _such_ a good idea!" squealed Hilde.

"Yup!" Duo agreed. "Come on Mrs Maxwell, time to start the honeymoon!"

"Yay!"

Relena and Heero watched in horror as Duo and Hilde ran past them, towards their hotel. As they went, Hilde threw her bouquet into the air.

Heero punched the bouquet away before it reached Relena. "I think NOT!"

"Uhhh... er... that _was_ Duo and Hilde right?"

"Yes."

"And they just got married."

"Looks like it."

"Oh my..."

"Congratulations!" Another chapel door started to open. Heero's eyes went wide and he picked Relena up.

"Time to leave," he said and sprinted down the street.

***
The Next Morning:

Heero opened his eyes and sighed. What an odd dream he'd had... almost a nightmare really...

He sat up and realised that he was not in the bedroom he had been sharing with Wufei. He glanced around and saw Relena sleeping in the other bed. Heero blinked. Ah... so last night wasn't a dream... oh fuck.

He went over to Relena and shook her gently. She stirred and opened her eyes. "Heero?" she yawned. "Oh... I had the weirdest dream..."

"It wasn't a dream." Heero said grimly. "We are sleeping in _your_ room because all the others were occupied when we returned to the hotel."

Relena swallowed. "Ummm... are _they_ up yet?" she asked nervously.

"I haven't heard any screams of horror, so no." Heero pulled on a robe over the trousers and singlet he had slept in. "But I think we should go and prepare some strong coffee."

***

Relena looked at her watch. "It's been half an hour since we got up, I don't know if I can stand the suspense any..."

"Urgh...." Clutching a green dressing gown around herself, Sally staggered out of one of the rooms and into the sitting room. "My head... need... coffee..."

Heero silently handed her a mug. Sally took it and drank a huge gulp, wincing at the bitterness.

"Ahhhh..." she put the mug down. "Okay... I think my brain cells are starting to fire up again." She noticed that both Heero and Relena were looking at her warily. "Uhhh... what's up?"

"That's my dressing gown," said Heero flatly.

Sally frowned. "Why am I wearing your dressing gown?"

"Um... Sally? What do you remember about last night?"

Sally blinked. "I..." she looked down at her hands and blinked again. "Uh... there's a wedding ring on my finger..." she said slowly.

"Kisama!!!!" Wufei burst into the sitting room, his black robe tied around him, waving a piece of paper. "ONNA!!! What have you DONE???!!!" he screamed at Sally.

Sally winced. "Wufei... can you tone down the noise?"

Relena and Heero moved away as Wufei marched over to Sally and thrust the paper under her nose. "Read that!" he said.

Sally peered at the paper. "The Sparkle-Love Pink Glow wedding chapel certificate of marriage..." Her eyes widened. "Sally Po and Wufei Chang... oh... oh dear..."

"Is that ALL you can say?" Wufei demanded. "The dishonour! The _injustice_ of it! Married... _again_! You tricked me! You..."

"Hold it right there!" Sally flashed angrily at him. "I have this vague memory coming back... oh yes, you... going down on one knee at the craps table and proposing..."

Wufei made inarticulate strangling noises. Heero slipped a mug of extra-strong black coffee into his hand, Wufei stared at it for a moment and then gulped it down.

"I... I... did _no_ such thing..." he gasped.

"Yes you DID!" said Sally jabbing a finger at him. "And you _kissed_ me! In front of _everyone_!"

"Kuso!"

"Oi, oi... could you keep the noise level down a bit?" Duo wandered into the sitting room belting his blue robe around himself. "It's early in the morning..."

"Duo, it's 11.30!" said Relena.

"Yup," Duo nodded and poured himself some coffee, mixing it liberally with milk and sugar. "Like I said, early." He paused. "Hmmm... I guess I should fix Hilde a cup..."

"That's okay, honey," Hilde came out looking disgustingly bright and cheery. "I can do it myself." She reached up and brought Duo's head down and kissed his cheek. "Morning everyone!"

"Umm... Good morning, Hilde," said Relena. "Uh... how are you feeling?"

Hilde smiled. "Great!" She giggled. "Guess what Duo and I did last night?"

"Got... married?" Heero suggested.

Duo blinked. "Heeeey... how did you guess?"

"It seems to be going around." Heero said dryly. "How much did you have to drink?"

Hilde shook her head. "Not much, if we had, well... you wouldn't have seen either of us until 4pm."

Relena stared at the pair. "You mean to say that you were perfectly _sober_ when you got married?!"

Duo rubbed the back of his head. "Well, I wouldn't say _sober_, but we knew what we were doing?" He shook his head. "I mean, what kind of _moron_ would get married while _drunk_?"

Wufei stiffened and Sally blushed. Hilde clapped her hands to her mouth. "Don't tell me..." she breathed.

Sally held up her left hand. A plain gold ring gleamed on her ring finger. Wufei sank further back into the couch. "I tell you... I was _tricked_!" he muttered.

Duo's mouth twitched. Wufei glared at him. "Don't you _dare_ Maxwell!" he hissed.

"I... wouldn't d-dream of... l-l-l... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Duo collapsed on the floor laughing hysterically.

Wufei ground his teeth. "That's it you..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone whirled around as a figure bolted into the room.

"_Trowa_?!"

The normally composed young man was wild-eyed and panting. He was also half-naked.

"Trowa? What's the matter buddy?" Duo asked.

Trowa grabbed him by the throat and shook him. "It's not right! It can't be! I never... we never... how did this happen??!"

Duo choked and indicated the air was a good thing.

Trowa released him and turned away, running his hands through his hair and spiking it up on end. "Noooo..." he moaned.

"_What_ is going on _now_?" Wufei demanded.

Trowa gave no answer, just quiet moans. Suddenly, from the room he had just left.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Is there an echo in here?" Hilde asked. And then her, and everybody else's, jaw dropped.

Quatre Raberba Winner came sprinting into the sitting room. His blonde hair was ruffled on one side and his eyes were blood-shot. Like Trowa, he also was only wearing a pair of black silk boxers.

Heero blinked first. "Q-Quatre?" He asked in a trembling tone of voice. "Please tell me you aren't..."

"MARRIED!!!" Quatre wailed. "MARRIED!!! Me and Trowa!!! Wed! Hitched! Hooked up! Chained together! We. Are. MARRIED!!!"

Everyone twitched violently.

"And that's not the worst part!!" He continued.

Wufei paled. "I don't want to know." He said. "I REALLY don't want to know!!!"

"LOOK!!!" Quatre thrust something at Relena.

"The Silky Doll Chapel hereby certifies the legal wedding of Mr Trowa Barton..."

A muffled sob from Trowa.

"Go on," Quatre said grimly. Relena's mouth twitched.

"... to Miss Quatre Raberba Winner."

"THEY THOUGHT I WAS A GIIIIIRRRRRLLLLL!!!!!" Quatre wailed.

"We're MARRIED!" Trowa cried.

"How could this happen?!" Quatre demanded. "I _know_ I didn't drink any alcohol last night!" He paused. "At least I'm fairly _sure_ I didn't..."

"Where are Catherine and Dorothy?" Asked Duo quickly to head off any awkward speculations..

Everybody paled.

"Oh God, no..." Trowa whispered. Sprinting around madly he searched every room. "They're not here." He reported finally. "We better go look for them..." He flung open the door.

"Um Trowa," Hilde spoke up. "You um... you might want to put some clothes on first."

Trowa looked down at himself and blushed. "Aaaah..."

Quatre suddenly blinked and looked at himself also. "Eep!"

The two men sprinted for their bedroom and locked themselves inside.

Wufei paused. "Right... Okay... No need to panic. I am a man, I can handle this. Where do you go for quick divorces?"

Sally glared at him. "What if I'm pregnant?" she demanded.

"Oh please, don't go there," Heero said.

Wufei paled further. "We couldn't have. I'm sure we didn't... Did we?"

Sally raised an eyebrow. "I have no idea. I think we should find out first."

Suddenly, the phone rang.

Heero sighed and went to answer it. "Hello?"

"Um, Heero, is that you?"

"Catherine! Where are you???"

"Umm... I'm with Dorothy..."

Heero paled and forced himself to pop the question. "You're not married are you?"

"What? NO! Look, I need you to do me a favour. Can you wire me some money?"

"Sure." Heero grabbed a pad and pen. "It's Catherine and Dorothy - they're not married." He told everyone else. "Okay, where should I send the money to?"

"Ummm..." There was a crackle at the other end of the phone and Heero could just make out a hastily whispered conversation.

"I'm... on L4 colony."

Heero dropped the pen. "Pardon?"

"L4."

"You're on L4," he repeated dully. Pause. "WHY are you on L4?"

"I don't know!" Catherine wailed. "It seemed like such a good idea at the time." There was a muffled comment and the phone crackled again.

"Don't ask inconvenient questions!" Dorothy's voice came over the phone. "Just wire us the money and shut up, Suicide Boy!!"

Heero raised an eyebrow. "Very well. Where on L4?"

Dorothy gave him the details and then hung up.

Heero put down the phone. "This is very strange."

Quatre and Trowa reentered the room, now dressed in their normal clothes. Both avoided looking at each other.

"Okay, focus..." said Quatre. "Ugh, I feel sick. My tongue feels like it's been carpeted in shag pile. Where's that fruit juice punch, that should clear my head?"

Hilde and Duo stiffened.

"Next door, I'll go get it." Relena opened the connecting door to the private dining room. The mess had been cleared away, and the plates washed and returned to the cupboards. Opening the mini-fridge door, she spotted the remains of the punch and hauled it out. Then she grabbed a fresh glass and the ladle and went to spoon the punch into the glass. The ladle went into the bowl. *Clunk.*

"Clunk???"

"Clunk what?" Heero walked up beside her. Relena swirled the ladle.

*Clunk.*

"Hmmm..."

***

Back in the other room, the two unhappily-married couples were arguing fiercely.

"How could this have happened?" Trowa asked.

"It's a nightmare," Wufei agreed grimly. "Injustice! One night and all of us married!"

"Not all of us," said Hilde suddenly. "I didn't see any ring on _Relena's_ finger."

Relena and Heero chose that moment to re-enter the room. They were hit squarely by a barrage of glares.

Duo smirked. "So I take it we can't congratulate YOU two?" He asked.

"Huh?" Heero asked.

"No wedding ring," Sally confirmed, looking at Relena's hand.

Relena blushed. "No... no we aren't."

"And you didn't...?" Hilde's voice trailed off suggestively.

Both Relena and Heero blushed and yelled, "NO!" indignantly.

"Hmph, injustice." Wufei murmured, his eyes narrowing.

"It's not fair," Quatre agreed.

"Not fair at all," said Sally.

Duo grinned. "Before we do ANYTHING else... I think we should make THEM get married!!"

Relena took a step backward. Heero's eyes met Duo's. "I don't think you want to try that," he said softly.

Duo grinned even wider. "Oh really Heero ol' buddy ol' pal ol' friend?"

The group took a step towards the pair in the doorway.

Heero tossed an object to Duo. Without thinking, the other boy caught it. "What's this?"

Trowa took it. "A hip flask?" He sniffed the top, "Smells like punch and... something alcoholic. Very alcoholic." His fingers trailed over the engraving on the side. "Duo Maxwell."

"You left it in the bottom of the punch bowl," said Heero. He smiled widely and maliciously.

"Uhhh... uh..." Duo's mind went blank.

"I... drank... ALCOHOL????!!!!" Quatre shrieked.

Wufei stood up. "You SPIKED THE PUNCH???!!!!"

Sally's eyes widened. "You said everybody knew!!!" She said indignantly.

Duo looked at the hostile group. "Ummm... ummm... Hilde, help!!!"

Hilde trembled. "Duo... I'm too scared!" she cried.

They began to move towards Duo.

Heero grabbed Relena's hand. "Come on," he whispered. "While they're still occupied. We can be in L4 in eight hours time!"

"I am SO there!" Relena agreed, turning to flee.

The screams echoed down the corridor behind them as they ran.

THE END


Go BACK to the Gundam Wing fanfiction index