scenes from a chocolate factory
and the Chocolate Factory/Petshop of Horrors crossover
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory the book is copyright to Roald Dahl,
the movie to Tim Burton and Warner Brothers, and no infringement is
intended. Petshop of Horrors is copyright to Matsuri Akino, with the
same lack of intending.
Warnings: Spoilers for Charlie and
the Chocolate Factory.
man was eerily pretty for a grown-up, Charlie reflected thoughtfully.
In fact, he was just eerie fullstop. There was the peculiar way he
spoke, the little smiles he kept giving everyone, the fact that he
looked like he was wearing makeup, and as for his clothes...
Willy Wonka wheeled around and
fixed the last two golden ticket winners with a suddenly attentive eye.
you, you're just lucky to be here, aren't you?" He demanded of Charlie,
apparently continuing some sort of conversation. "And you..." He
paused. "You... and your... parent?"
"HELL no!" The tall blonde man
standing behind Charlie yelled indignantly.
"He's my Detective," replied the
other winner, smiling gently. "And I am Count D."
Wonka stared at the other man for a moment, apparently somewhat
confused. Charlie felt a bit nervous standing between the two of them,
and exchanged a look with his grandpa.
"That," said Willy Wonka at long
last, "is the most lovely outfit I've ever seen."
watched as the annoying brat was hauled to the garbage shute by the
squirrel mob. "Oh hell," he muttered, preparing to leap over the gate.
A delicate hand grasped his arm and
it D," he gritted. "You stopped me going after the Augustus kid, and
there was nothing I could do about the purple girl, but I'm not gonna
just stand here and watch a bunch of squirrels eat or kill or WHATEVER
they're gonna do to that little girl."
Charlie watched him in awe as he
prepared to dash to the rescue, while Mr Salt echoed the word "Kill?"
in a horrified tone.
"Kill?" Mr Wonka laughed. "Oh
there's no need to worry about that. They're squirrels! Not homicidal
Leon muttered something about
rabbits and jumped the fence.
A few minutes later, the Detective
sourly watched the fuzzy monsters snuggle against the Count.
"If you could keep them from
attacking me, why couldn't you have rescued the girl and her father?"
The Count smiled and rapped his
knuckles against Leon's head.
"I did nothing, Detective. It is
just fortunate that you are, apparently, a good nut."
Leon was about to respond
colourfully, but caught himself when he spotted Charlie watching.
place is wonderful," Count D declared happily. "We really must see if
your aunt and uncle will let us bring Chris here for a visit one day."
Fortunately, Grandpa Joe was able
to cover Charlie's ears in time.
sprinted down a series of corridors, trying to keep up with the Oompa
Loompas, who were surprisingly fast for a race so short. Gasping, he
turned a corner and collided briefly with Wonka, who steadied them both
and then sprinted off again, Charlie's shirt clutched firmly in one
"What's that alarm?" Charlie
alert," Wonka's face was uncharacteristically cold. "Sneaking, evil,
candy-idea-stealing thieves trying to sneak in and make off with MY
The pair ran into the inventing
room and halted. Oompa
Loompas milled around in confusion, and several experimental vats had
been overturned. In the middle of all the chaos came some frantic
"Max!" Charlie called. "Here boy!"
His dog ran
over to him and barked energetically, while the Loompa security forces
got the alarms switched off and ran over to report to Wonka.
petted Max while he watched the fast signing. He'd only been studying
Loompa-ese for a while, and this blur of hands and strange clucking
made no sense to him. Finally Wonka turned to him, a thoughtful
expression crossing his face. He looked from Charlie to Max and back
again, and then smiled.
"Oh dear! False alarm!" He trilled,
and laughed merrily.
"It wasn't Max, was it?" Charlie
looked guiltily at the overturned experiments. "I've TOLD him not to
come in here."
How could it be Max? What a strange idea?" Wonka laughed again, this
time a little falsely. "No, I've no problems with Max going wherever he
likes. No problems whatsoever. Just some of the ultra-pop candy
exploding again. Not Max at all. Good boy, Max. Very, VERY good boy."
Relieved, Charlie stood up and
smiled. "Okay, well if everything's all right, I'd better get back to
"Of course, of course," Wonka waved
him off energetically. "An education is an extremely important thing."
grinned shyly and headed for the door, before stopping all of a sudden.
"Oh, I almost forgot! I was going to ask you if we could send some of
the new hokey-pokey french vanilla chocolate in this month's box to
Wonka's smile froze. "Why... of
course, Charlie, dear
boy, whatever you'd like. It wouldn't do to forget the Count's monthly
box of chocolates"
Charlie smiled and petted Max
again. "No, it wouldn't," he agreed, and hugged his dog.