Title: X: The Musical

Author: Jaelle

Act One (of Three)

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: All Clamp's, all the time. Only borrowing.

Pairings: Mostly implied, Subaru/Seishirou and Karen/Seiichirou and yes I know he's married. Also hints of Kamui/Fuuma and Kamui/Keiichi and dammit it's a musical, so really there's very little of anything.

Spoilers: For most of X the manga (up to last Japanese issue, somewhere around April last year).

Warnings: Filk alert!




Author's Notes:

This piece was inspired by a challenge posted by Shinri to the Clamp Fanfiction Mailing List, AKA CFFML (several times). I've been meaning to write this for about two years, and then once I started it it took me about another year to put it all together, so I'm sorry you had to wait so long Shinri!

Now I tried to do this like a scripted musical, with a plot and scenes and everything. I did, I REALLY REALLY did. But it was just not working out. At all. In any way, shape or form. So I have decided to do what I did with my Detective Conan musical, and avail myself of the services of a narrator, who will introduce people and the situation and then let them get on with the music. Okay? Okay. Good.

Most of the songs have been tweaked (filked) at least a little. One Night in Tokyo and Sadistic Assassin are two of the ones that have been more obviously fiddled with, while Heaven Help My Heart and Come What May are entirely untouched. Others such as I Dreamed a Dream have only been minutely altered (I changed the "He"s to "She"s, and the season of autumn was changed to winter). For the most part I've tried to leave the songs intact, but sometimes I couldn't resist the urge to tweak, especially when I wanted the tune but not the words (and how could I resist having Seishirou belt out the Dentist song? It's so perfect for him!).

Just so that you know, if a song is referred to as being "to the tune of" it means I've tweaked the lyrics. If it just gives the song and composer, they haven't been changed (or at least not enough to bother noting).

I am deeply indebted to a large number of lyrics sites. Unfortunately I didn't keep track of them but trust me, there were a lot.

Words in < > are not spoken and are being "heard" either telepathically or by some other magical means.

Here we go!

**

The curtain pulls back to reveal a familiar city landscape – Tokyo. Suddenly other backdrops come crashing down over the top. They show, in order: Clamp Campus, a sakura tree in Ueno Park, and finally stop with the basement of City Hall.

*SOUHI, HIEN and DAISUKE enter, carrying HINOTO. As they take their positions the orchestra begins to tune up. Finally there is complete silence, before a steady beat begins to sound. HINOTO begins to sing [I know, she can't really, but she will for the purposes of the musical].*

[to the tune of: One Night in Bangkok - the Chess Soundtrack - Tim Rice, Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus]

HINOTO:
Tokyo, Oriental setting
And the city don't know that the city is getting
The creme de la creme of the psychic world in a
Show with everything but Clow Reed

Foreordained, here's the place of power
It’s always and forever the Tokyo Tower
All change, don't you know that when you
Play at this level there's really only one venue

Not Kyoto
or Nerima
or Yokohama
It's, it's this place!

SOUHI, DAISUKE and HIEN:
One night in Tokyo and you'll see the future
You'll cast the cards and find your destiny
You must endeavour and you must, _must_ endure
So come and join our little company
I can see an Angel sliding up to me.

HINOTO:
One town's very like another
When your mother's all in small pieces, brother

SOUHI, DAISUKE and HIEN:
It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity
To be looking at the board, not looking at the city

DARK HINOTO:
What do you mean? You see one crowded, polluted, stinking town…

SOUHI, DAISUKE and HIEN:
Soap girls, warm and sweet
Check out the power, she's obviously elite

HINOTO:
Yes sir, you're talking to real seer
Whose second sight is strong, pure and clear...
No unseen angles in my visions sunshine

SOUHI, DAISUKE and HIEN:
One night in Tokyo makes a young man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Tokyo and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel Kamui walking next to me

HINOTO:
Tokyo's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of magical fitness
This grips me more than would a
Crystal ball or a board of ouja.

And thank God I'm only watching the game, controlling it…

I don't see you guys weighting
The kind of duel I'm contemplating

*turns to KANOE, who is watching in the background*

I know you watch, I didn't invite you
But the guys _we_ have would not excite you.

So you'd better go back to your geeks, your assassins… your civil servants…

SOUHI, DAISUKE and HIEN:
One night in Tokyo and the world's your oyster
You could fulfil your Wish but it ain't free
You'll be a god in every single cloister
A little flesh, a little history
I can feel an Angel sliding up to me

One night in Tokyo makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Tokyo and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel Kamui walking next to me.

*As the song ends, HINOTO turns to DAISUKE.*

HINOTO:
<He's back. Kamui has returned to Tokyo. Find him Daisuke, bring him to me.>

DAISUKE leaves and HINOTO returns to her contemplation.

HINOTO:
<Kamui.>

*Curtain closes.*

*The NARRATOR appears onstage in front of the curtains. Dressed in a flowing gown of orange, yellow and pink with purple feathers, she is instantly and eye-blindingly recognisable as none other than HOKUTO SUMERAGI. She lets out a shriek of laughter before getting on with the job.*

HOKUTO:
Ominous things were afoot in Tokyo. The year is 1999, and Kamui has returned...

*The curtain opens. A young man, KAMUI, enters stage left.*

HOKUTO:
Unknown to him, the time is coming up when Kamui must make a difficult choice - to save the world, or to destroy it. Whether he chooses one or the other will determine whose side he is on, the Dragons of Earth, who wish to end the world, or the Dragons of Heaven, who wish to save it. The Dragons of Heaven are the first to make their pitch, in the form of a rather amusing lad from Osaka.

*SORATA enters stage right.*

KAMUI:
Who are you?

[to the tune of The Joker - The Steve Miller Band]

SORATA:
Some people call me the space cowboy, yeah
Some call me the monk of love
Some people call me Maurice
'Cause I speak of the pompitous of love

*SORATA slings an arm around KAMUI's shoulders*

People talk about me, baby
Say I'm doin' you wrong, doin' you wrong
Well, don't you worry baby, don't worry
'Cause I'm right here, right here, right here, right here at home

'Cause I'm a picker, I'm a grinner
I'm a lover and I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun
I'm a joker, I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I sure don't want to hurt no one

'Cause I'm a picker, I'm a grinner
I'm a lover and I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun
I'm a joker, I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I get my lovin' on the run

*ARASHI enters stage left. SORATA takes one look at her and heads over, aiming the next part of the song at her*

SORATA:
Wooo Wooooo

You're the cutest thing that I ever did see
I really love your peaches, wannna shake your tree
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time
Ooo-eee baby, I'll sure show you a good time

'Cause I'm a picker, I'm a grinner
I'm a lover and I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun
I'm a joker, I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I get my lovin' on the run

'Cause I'm a picker, I'm a grinner
I'm a lover and I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun
I'm a joker, I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I sure don't want to hurt no one

Wooo Woooo

People keep talking about me, baby
They say I'm doin' you wrong
Well don't you worry, don't worry, no don't worry mama
'Cause I'm right here at home

You're the cutest thing I ever did see
Really love your peaches, wanna shake your tree
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time
Come on baby and I'll show you a good time

*ARASHI smacks him one upside the head.*

ARASHI:
We don't have time for this.

KAMUI:
And you are?

ARASHI:
Arashi.

*Long pause*

ARASHI:
I don't sing.

*Longer pause*

ARASHI:
I really don't sing.

SORATA: [to the tune of Maria - West Side Story – Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim]
Arashi. I've just met a girl named, Arashi!

*ARASHI smacks him upside the head again*

SORATA:
OW! Neechan!!!

HOKUTO:
Oooookay. Anyways, while Kamui is trying to sort everything out, he is also trying to avoid the interest of his old friends, lest they get hurt.

KOTORI: (off-stage)
Kamui!

SORATA: [again with Maria - West Side Story – Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim]
Kamui, she's just met a boy called...

KAMUI:
Hit him again.

*ARASHI smacks SORATA again as KOTORI enters*

KOTORI:
Why have you been avoiding me?

KAMUI:
Don't talk to me.

KOTORI:
But Kamui...

KAMUI:
I said don't talk to me. We're strangers now.

*KAMUI, SORATA and ARASHI exit stage right.*

KOTORI:
Kamui. Why did you say that? Kamui.

*Music swells. No, it's not 'Maria' this time.*

[Heaven Help My Heart - Chess - Rice, Andersson, Ulvaeus]

KOTORI:
If it were love I would give that love every second I had
And I do
Did I know where he'd lead me to?
Did I plan
Doing all of this for the love of a man?
Well I let it happen anyhow
And what I'm feeling now
Has no easy explanation
Reason plays no part
Heaven help my heart
I love him too much
What if he saw my whole existence
Turning around a word, a smile, a touch?

One of these days, and it won't be long,
he'll know more about me
Than he should
All my dreams will be understood
No surprise
Nothing more to learn from the look in my eyes
Don't you know that time is not my friend
I'll fight it to the end
Hoping to keep that best of moments
When the passions start
Heaven help my heart
The day that I find
Suddenly I've run out of secrets
Suddenly I'm not always on his mind

*She turns to watch him move out of sight*

Maybe it's best to love a stranger

*Then resolve fills her eyes*

Well that's what I've done -- heaven help my heart
Heaven help my heart.

The music ends and KOTORI walks away slowly.

*Curtain close*

*Curtains open, showing the backdrop of the City Hall again. SORATA and ARASHI are leading KAMUI to meet Princess HINOTO. Music starts again, and continues as they make their way through the set.*

[to the tune of Prince Ali - Aladdin movie soundtrack - Alan Menken, Howard Ashman, Tim Rice]

SORATA:
Make way for Ka-mu-i!
Say hey! It's Ka-mu-i.

Hey! Clear the way to the City Hall!
Hey you!
Let us through!
Or I'll kill you all!
Oh come!
Be the first on your block to meet his eye!

Make way!
Here he comes!
Ring bells! Bang the drums!
Are you gonna love this guy!

*they arrive in HINOTO's room*

SORATA:
Oh, Kamui fabulous he,
Kamui Shirou.
Genuflect, show some respect!
Down on one knee!
Now, try your best to stay calm
Don't give away any alarm!
The come and meet his spectacular coterie...

Kamui!
Mighty is he!
Kamui Shirou.
Strong as ten regular men, definitely!
He faced the galloping hordes
A hundred bad guys with swords
Who sent those goons to their lords?
Why, Kamui.

He's got powerful magical powers.
Purple eyes, large,
He's got two of those.
When it comes to drifting petals from flowers.
Has he got a tonne?
You said it hon, it's a world-class gardenerie!

Oh, Kamui! Pretty is he, Kamui Shirou,
That physique! How can I speak
Weak at the knee?
Well, get on out in that square
Adjust your vein and prepare
To gawk and grovel and stare at Kamui!

SOUHI, HIEN:
There's no question this Kamui's alluring
Never ordinary, never boring
Everything about the man just plain impresses
He's a winner, he's a whiz, a wonder!
He's about to pull my heart asunder!
And I absolutely love the way he dresses!

SORATA:
He's got amazing magic potential
(He's got potential, we see potential)
And to view it, he'll kill you for free!
(He's generous, so generous)
He's got Dragons, bodyguards and enemies
(All should fear him)
They bow to his whim love serving him
They're just lousy with loyalty to he! Kamui!

Kamui!
Curious he! Kamui Shirou.
Heard your princess was a sight lovely to see
And that, good people, is why he got dolled up and dropped by
With a monk from Kouya,
A priestess as well,
Soon others will come like bats out of hell.
A cute girl, her brother, and so many others,
It's not exactly low key!
So make way for Kamui!

HOKUTO:
And so Hinoto told Kamui about his destiny, and the choice he was fated to make.

HINOTO:
<Kamui, save the world! You must save the world!>

HOKUTO:
Meanwhile, across town, other forces were stirring.

*Beneath the Sunshine 60 building, KANOE enters a room filled with machinery.*

KANOE:
Satsuki? Is it true? Has Kamui returned to Tokyo?

SATSUKI:
Beast says yes.

KANOE:
Do you think you can have fun with him?

SATSUKI:
*smiles* We think so.

*KANOE exits to go peek into HINOTO'S dreams, while SATSUKI pats the BEAST.*

SATSUKI:
You're the best, Beast.

[to the tune of AC/DC - Starlight Express – Andrew Lloyd Webber and Richard Stilgoe]

SATSUKI
The Beast .... The Beast .... The Beast ....

BEAST:
I am electric, feel my attraction
Feel my magnetism you will agree
I am electric, I have the contacts
I am electric, the future is me
AC/DC, it's okay by me
I can switch and change my frequency
I am electric, mind how you touch me
I can shock you, I can set you on fire
I can reach up and pluck down the lightning
Watch the conductor, see the live wire
AC/DC, it's okay by me
I can switch and change my frequency
AC/DC, it's okay by me
I can switch and change my frequency
The Beast .... The Beast .... The Beast ....

I am electric, I'm a computer
Don't attempt to keep no secrets from me
You're helpless before me, and my Satsuki,
You'll be erased from our memory
AC/DC, it's okay by me
I can switch and change my frequency
Can switch and change my frequency
Can switch and change my frequency
AC/DC, it's okay by me
AC/DC, it's okay by me

SATSUKI:
Good Beast.

*YUUTO enters*

YUUTO:
How is your lover?

SATSUKI:
Must you always make jokes?

YUUTO:
What can I say? I'm a joker.

[The Joker - The Steve Miller Band]

YUUTO:
Some people call me the space cowboy, yeah
Some call me the servant of love
Some people call me Maurice
'Cause I speak of the pompitous of love

SATSUKI:
That's been done.

YUUTO:
Pardon?

SATSUKI:
Beast says the Monk from Kouya beat you to that song, as well as to Kamui.

YUUTO:
Dammit! *sulks*

HOKUTO:
Meanwhile, in the dreamscape...

HINOTO:
<Kamui, only you and your power can save the world! Please Kamui, save Tokyo, save this world!>

KANOE:
No Kamui, destroy it all!

KAMUI:
Who are you?

KANOE:
Kanoe. And you are Kamui. I've heard so much about you

[I'd be Surprisingly Good for You - Evita - Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber]

KANOE:
It seems crazy but you must believe
There's nothing calculated, nothing planned
Please forgive me if I seem naive
I would never want to force your hand
But please understand I'd be good for you

I don't always rush in like this
Twenty seconds after saying hello
Telling strangers I'm too good to miss
If I'm wrong I hope you tell me so
But you really should know I'd be good for you
I'd be surprisingly good for you

I won't go on if I'm boring you
But do you understand my point of view
Do you like what you hear what you see and would you be
Good for me too?

I'm not talking of a hurried night
A frantic tumble then a shy goodbye
Creeping home before it gets too light
That's not the reason that I caught your eye
Which has to imply I'd be good for you
I'd be surprisingly good for you...

KAMUI:
I don't believe a word of it! Leave me alone, both of you! I'll do what I want!

*exits Dreamscape, storms off with SORATA and ARASHI in tow*

*curtains close*



End of Act One



Go ON to Act Two

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