Mission Report

A FMA Fanfic

By Jaelle

Disclaimer: Not mine.

It was a crappy day. It had been a crappy week, and prior to that a crappy month. In fact, all in all it was shaping up to be a pretty crappy year. And Edward Elric knew exactly whom to blame.

Colonel Roy Mustang.

Oh sure, the homunculi were probably not his creations, and the assassin Scar was certainly not under his jurisdiction. Likewise the various power-hungry Alchemists and psychotic Generals could not be laid at his doorstep either. But somehow, SOMEWHERE, Ed just knew... it was all his fault.

And he had a report to make.

To Colonel Mustang.

Colonel “Complete and Utter Smirky Bastard” Mustang.

Ed hated making reports. He hated writing them, putting them together, showing up, handing them over and most of all he hated having to listen to Colonel Bastard tear them to pieces, all the time demonstrating that he already knew everything anyway.

He hadn’t slept for two days, there had been no dinner the night before and no breakfast first thing this morning either. And he had a headache.

Ed glared at the door to Mustang’s office balefully. He’d be in there for an hour, getting a lecture about how he “really must control that temper of his” and how “military buildings were not created for your personal experimentation areas”. His fingers clenched on his report.

“Elric-kun, the Colonel is ready for you.” Hawkeye opened the door for him.

Roy Mustang was sitting behind his desk, a wide smirk settled firmly in place.

Ed walked in, took one look at the expression on Roy’s face, and snapped.

“I KNOW ALREADY!” He shouted. “I’m short! So short you could step on me! And I can't control my temper! And you know what I did and I know that you know and you know that I know that you know and HERE’S YOUR STUPID REPORT!” He flung the report at Mustang and fled, ignoring the startled yells behind him.

Havoc walked into Mustang’s office, confusion writ large upon his face, “What the HELL was that all about?”

Roy picked the report up off the floor with a rueful expression.

“I think I broke him.”


A/N: Was originally supposed to be WAY shorter and just consisted of a mental image I had of Ed throwing a report at Roy and fleeing, rather than being subjected to torment once again. I kinda like it as an idea, but ficwise it didn't turn out quite the way I'd hoped. Ah well.

Go BACK to the Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction Index