This is a fanfic based on the original work by Naoko
Takeuchi, whose pink heart wands we are not fit to lick.
Even though she came up with Chibiusa (*hoick*).
A note, our Phobos and Deimos are not the Phobos and
Deimos of the manga story, they are original characters
(we didn't know about the crows till after the first
stories had been published. Oops. Hey, we only had the
translated stuff to work with at the time). This is
not exactly a sequel to Sailor Doom and Sailor Doom II:
Mars Attacks, but Phobos and Deimos do appear so you
might want to read the earlier two (not that we're
shamelessly plugging our own works! (^_^)).
This story takes place during Sailor Moon Stars, after
the Inner Senshi have found out that the Three Lights
are the Starlights. Duh. Like we couldn't have worked
that out within ten seconds of seeing them. For starters,
they're never in the same place at the same time!
And by the way, for all the picky people, this is based
on the anime version, in which the Three Lights are
male (until they transform anyway). And we do know that
they're not biological brothers, but they do refer to
each other as brother, and they have the same last name
so they're brothers in a sense. After all, if all women
are sisters, then all males... even those who are also
sisters, are brothers. My head hurts.
C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!).
You can contact us at either: firstname.lastname@example.org or
For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'
Seiya stretched, yawned, and followed the group out of
the limo. "So, what's the plan of attack for today?"
"I thought we could hit 5th avenue," said Rei. "Start
at the bottom, work our way up. Everyone can split up
and we'll meet at Times Square at.... four?"
"Works for me," said Minako. "But what if we want
Rei handed her a wad of money. "Three hundred each." she
Yaten raised an eyebrow. "Only three hundred? Are you
running out of cash?"
Rei shook her head. "No... I... " she glanced at Usagi
before answering. "I... I want to slow down a little."
Seiya had not missed the glance and forestalled another
acerbic remark from Yaten. "Good idea, let's take it easy
Rei nodded. "Okay, see you guys later." she walked away.
"Rei-chan! Where are you going?"
Rei turned. "I just want a little personal time, okay?" she
looked at Phobos and Deimos. "Behave yourselves -onegai?"
They blinked. "okay." said Phobos.
Deimos pouted. "But I want to have fuuuunnnnnn!!!!" she
wailed. "Interdimensional mallet!" yelled Phobos.
The Three Lights jumped as a large mallet appeared out of
nowhere and hit Deimos, she dropped to the ground
"Why didn't you do that before?" asked Taiki.
Phobos smiled sweetly. "I keep losing that darn thing."
Rei waved and disappeared into the crowd.
The others soon dispersed. Phobos waited by Deimos' inert
body calmly ignoring the stares of passersby. Deimos came
to a few moments later.
"Owww... you're a meanie, Phobos."
"Come on, idiot, let's look around."
"Who are _you_ calling an idiot?"
"AHhahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!" The beautiful woman clad
in dark crimson leather and with red skin and hair laughed
manaically in standard villian mode(TM). She stepped
forward and loomed over the young girl she had cornered
in the alleyway.
"Give me your pretty star seed, little girl!" Sailor Lead
"<Wha... wha... what are you saying?>" the girl asked.
Lead Crow ground her teeth. "Can't you understand my
"<I'm sorry, I think you're speaking Japanese, right? I
don't understand! Please don't hurt me!>"
"What did you say?" Lead Crow asked nonplussed.
"<What did you say?>"
Lead Crow shrugged. "Never mind!" She attacked the girl
and drew out her star seed.
"I can't find it!"
"Let me look!"
"Geez, you're grabby Phobos!"
"Dimwit! you were holding it upside down!"
"Oh... no wonder I couldn't find the trigger."
"You just don't know how to treat a gun."
"Phobos, guns are a symbol of all that is bad in human
society. You are promoting a violent and unethical way of
life that I find abhorrant." Deimos shook her head
sorrowfully. "My poor misguided sister, this is why I stick
"And they promote a better way of life?"
"Of course, anyone with half a brain knows that!"
"Why you... "
"Did you hear that?"
"Someone's in trouble!"
"Which means... " Phobos grinned at her sister, all
"We get to kick some major butt!!!!" squealed Deimos.
Lead Crow watched as the star seed turned black. "Dammit,
another dud." she watched disinterestedly as the human
turned into a Sailor monster. Looked like an insane
aerobics instructor. Lycra everywhere. Bleurgh. And a whip.
Seemed to be a reoccuring theme. Oh well. "Sailor ... Gym,
go and..." Lead Crow looked around. There didn't seem to be
any annoyances around to fight this time. She shrugged.
"... wreak havoc! Go!"
Lead Crow ground her teeth. *Why me? I _finally_ persuade
my leader that maybe restricting our search to _one_ small
country is maybe not the best idea and the first time I
try somewhere else... argh!*
"Go... and... wreak... havoc!"
"<I'm sorry, what are your instructions?>"
A tick broke out on Lead Crow's face. "I _said_..."
"Halt you evil-type being!" yelled a voice.
"Oh thank goodness," Lead Crow wiped her brow. "I thought
I was going to be stuck here all day." She pointed at the
two sailor-suited figures running up the alleyway.
"Get them!" she yelled. Sailor Gym didn't understand the
words but the bullets sailing over her head spoke louder
"<No pain, no gain!>" she yelled. Bits of broken machinery
in the alleyway began to stir. Weights drifted. She posed
and cracked her whip.
"<And one and two and a-three! Push it ladies! Feel the
"What's she saying?" asked Deimos.
"Who knows? Humans." Phobos shrugged. "I'll hit high, you
cut her off at the knees."
"I was speaking metaphorically, Deimos."
"Awww...." Deimos pouted. "Hey, what the..."
A large barbell caught her in the stomach. "Oof!"
"(*&%!" said Phobos, charging. She noticed that she didn't
seem to be moving any closer. She looked down at the
treadmill that she was now running on. "This sucks!
"Agh!" Deimos ducked as a handweight flew at her head,
then evaded a whipcrack. "<Telefrag!>" Bits of machinery
flew all over the place. "Nyahahahahahahahaha! Weren't
expecting that were you... baka! Bakabakabakabaka!"
"<I have no idea what you just said, but you'll pay for
this!>" said Sailor Gym. "<Lycra whip!>"
"Stupid demons," muttered Deimos. "Why can't they speak
properly. <Chainsaw massacre!>"
Phobos decided not to point out the obvious. "<Shotgun
Yaten yawned, "The New York Library, _why_, Taiki?"
"It was very interesting." Taiki protested.
"For _you_. Look at Seiya, he's gone into culture shock."
Seiya turned a glazed expression to Taiki. "Huh?"
"Oh, you may be right -it was a bit of an overload."
Seiya clicked back into consciousness. "Shut up, Taiki."
"Come on, let's get to Times Square." Yaten started to
The Three Lights paused and looked around as a stream of
paniked people ran away from the direction of the yells.
Taiki frowned. "Sounds like trouble."
"Let's have a look then." said Seiya, he ran towards the
sound of the commotion, his brothers on his heels.
Rei smiled at the sales assistant. "<Thank you>" she said.
"<Have a nice day, Miss.>"
Rei walked out of the souvenier shop and bumped straight
"Ittai!" they both chorused.
"Usagi, you never look where you're going!" said Rei
rubbing her arm.
"Gomen." Usagi smiled.
Rei smiled back. "All finished?"
"Well, I haven't done much shopping, I was just looking
around." Usagi noticed Rei's bag. "What did you get?"
"Oh, just some junky mementos of the trip -cheap ones."
Rei grinned, then she frowned.
"Something is very very wrong!"
"<Feel the burn, push it to the max!>" Sailor Gym
polevaulted away from Phobos' bullets.
Phobos snarled. "So you think you're good, ne? I'll show
you! Deimos, I need backup!"
Phobos looked back, startled, and gasped in horror at the
sight of her sister. "What has she done to YOU!?"
Deimos' sailor suit was covered by a gaudy leotard, rainbow
striped legwarmers and a sparkly headband held back her hair.
A step machine held her legs and was forcing her to exercise.
"Telefrag outta there!"
"I can't! I'm in too much painnnnnn!!!!"
"Star serious laser!" a solid beam of light shot out,
destroying the step machine. Deimos fell back and was caught
by Star Healer and Star Maker.
"Need a hand?" Star Healer smirked.
"Shut up!" snapped Deimos. "And get me out of these
Meanwhile Star Fighter landed beside Phobos. "So what
"I _don't_ know. Some chick in red -looked a bit like the
boss- turned a girl into this thing." Phobos ducked as a
weight hurtled towards her. "This sucks so much! We can't
_attack_ this bakemono straight on 'cos she's _human_!"
Star Fighter took out a pair of vicious tennis shoes and
looked at Phobos. "So you do have morals."
"What are you talking about? If we kill a human the boss
will _fry_ us, that's why we don't go for it!"
Healer and Maker managed to get Deimos out of the gym
clothes. Deimos stood up, a grin spread across her face,
it was not a _sane_ grin.
"Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! DIEDIEDIE!!!!" she
shrieked at the gym equipment. "TELEFRAG... "
"Ewwwww... " said Healer and Maker.
"Look out, you guys!" cried Fighter as a large exercycle
bore down on the others.
"Wha... " Healer turned swiftly, and promptly twisted her
ankle (you know you should never turn quickly when wearing
"Mars... Flame... SNIPER!!"
A firey arrow blasted the exercycle and turned it into a
twisted pile of melted metal.
Healer looked up and saw Eternal Sailor Moon and Sailor
Mars standing in the entrance way to the alley.
The two senshi posed and began their usual recitations, not
that anyone was listening. Phobos was blasting randomly,
Fighter was trying to pin down more vicious tennis shoes,
Maker was helping Healer, and Deimos... well, Deimos was
telefragging everything in sight -including the walls and a
Sailor Moon sniffed. "No one ever listens to my speech
"Yeah," agreed Mars. "If this was a video they'd be fast-
forwarding through it by now."
Sailor Moon sweatdropped. "Thanks _so_ much!"
"If you've _quite_ finished could you help here?" Healer
Mars raised an eyebrow. "You mean the on-so-wonderful
Starlights need help from us weak little senshi?" she put
a hand to her heart. "I don't think I can take the shock."
Healer flushed. Maker looked at Sailor Moon. "Do it Sailor
Moon!" she said.
Sailor Moon looked at the chaos in front of her and
blanched. "There's no _way_ I can get a clear shot at the
monster with all that junk in the way!"
Mars smiled slightly. "Don't worry, I'll clear the way."
she stepped forward.
Healer frowned. "What is she going to do?"
Moon bit her lip. "Mars, no! It's too dangerous!"
Mars ignored her. "Phobos! Deimos! To me!" she commanded.
Phobos paused. "It's time then."
Fighter looked confused. "For what?"
Phobos said nothing, but grabbed the surprised Star Fighter
by the collar and tossed her -yelling in protest- ontop of
the other Starlights.
Deimos flashed down beside Mars, Phobos took the other
side. Sailor Gym cracked her whip and urged forward
another exercyle, an abdominiser, several weights and an
old snack machine towards them. Deimos was momentarily
distracted by the snack machine.
"Yum... Hershey bars... "
"Fighting makes me peckish." Deimos giggled. "Oh, well,
it was fun while it lasted! DEIMOS FLAMES ADDITION!!!"
"PHOBOS FIREPOWER SOURCE!!!"
The Starlights watched as light surged from Phobos and
Deimos and then engulfed Mars. As the light intensified
they heard Mars yell.
"MARS INCANDESCENT FLAME DESTROYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A burst of white hot flame shot out, totally engulfing and
destroying the marauding objects.
The Starlights squinted, trying to clear the light spots
from their eyes. They saw Mars alone, collapsed on the
ground, Sailor Gym was still upright, but rather singed.
The gym equipment had taken the brunt of the attack. Then
Fighter gasped and blushed. Some of Sailor Gym's costume
had burnt away, in areas not normally affected.
Sailor Moon picked up her wand and called out. "Starlight
Honeymoon Therapy Kiss!!!"
"Beautiful!!!" called out Sailor Gym as she transformed
"You know that's the first time I understood what she was
saying." Fighter commented.
"Sailor Mars!" Healer called. "Is she... Where is...
Sailor Moon checked the girl was alright and then went to
her friend. "She's okay, it just takes alot out of her,
even with Phobos and Deimos."
"Are they... dead?" Fighter asked.
"No, they had to go back home."
Maker smiled in relief. "Thank the kami! Now I can stop
pretending to go out with Ami!"
"Shining Aqua Illusion!" a wash of water knocked Maker off
her feet. She looked up and saw a very pissed-off Sailor
Mercury staring down at her. "Ooops."
That evening the group just hung quietly around their rooms.
*Blam! Blam! Blam! BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!!!*
*Sounds of chainsaws*
"Nooooo...." Taiki, Yaten and Seiya ran out into the main
"Ooooohhh! You got me Mina! Just you wait!" Usagi punched
at the buttons of her sony system frantically as she and
Minako battled it out in 84 bit glory.
Sweat drops slid slowly down the heads of the three boys.
"What a day..." said Taiki. "Has anyone seen Ami?"
"She's been reading since we got back."
"She's probably avoiding you," Seiya said. "After what you
said..." he grinned evilly. It was so nice for someone
_else_ to have been misconstrued by a girl. Taiki put his
hand to his head. "I'm going to read."
Yaten shook his head, "I'm going down to the therapeutic
centre on the ground floor. Anyone else?"
Seiya waved him away, sat down beside Usagi and started
giving her tips.
"Hey! No fair!" yelled Minako. "Makotoooooo..."
Makoto hummed. Minako shot her friend a glare.
"Hmmm... starlight... anata...."
"Geez, how loud does she have that stereo?" Minako demanded.
She grabbed a cushion and flung it at Makoto. Having gotten
her attention, she immediately demanded aid. Eventually the
foursome paired off into tag team video games.
Yaten smiled blissfully as the masseur rubbed warm scented
oils into his back. "Mmmmmm..." [Fanservice! - Orla. *evil
grin* - Jaelle.]
"Oooooohhhh... yesss..." he hissed. *This is the best!* He
closed his eyes and relaxed into the masseurs experienced
hands. He could feel all of his tensions and worries just
Oh look, there they were back again. "Rei-san?" Yaten
thrust himself upwards, felt the towel on him start to
slip and quickly fell back onto the table, clutching
his towel. He angled his head to the side. Rei stood
next to another table, towel clutched around her.
Yaten quickly turned the other way. *Yeah, like those
sailor suits hide much!*
Rei looked around, "They must have put me in the wrong
room... gomen... *glurk*"
Yaten looked curiously around to see another masseur
gently rubbing Rei's shoulders. Her head was lolled
back and her face held a blissful smile. She was
smoothly moved onto the table, towel in the pertinent
areas. The other masseur began to work on her. Yaten
was about to say something when the masseur working
on him got enthusiastic in the lower back region.
"Guuuhhh..." he said.
"Mmmphfff..." agreed Rei.
"Haaaaaaa...." they both sighed in bliss. Then, silence.
Taiki stepped out of his room. This was annoying! He
couldn't find the book he wanted.
"Seiya," he started, walking into the main room, and
then stopped. The video-game four had disappeared.
There was a note attached to the TV - "Got hungry,
went out to find munchies, back later. - M U M S."
Taiki raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like some sort of
secret society," he said. "Oh well, maybe Rei knows where
the purchases got to." He wandered around the rooms.
"She went to the therapeutic centre," a cold voice
informed him. Taiki froze.
Ami sniffed. "Was there something you wanted?"
"I was just looking for Mokona Appapa's Death and..."
he looked at the book she was reading. "Wings," he
ended on a sigh. "But I see you're already reading it."
Ami ignored him. Taiki, for all his height, felt about
ten inches tall. *Oh well,* he thought. *I guess I'd
"Gomen nasai for my comments before," he said formally.
"I didn't mean to insult you." Ami glared at him. Taiki
rubbed the back of his head nervously. "I only meant
that I disliked putting up a pretence and dragging you
into the lie as well." *Believe me, pleeeeeease*.
Ami's eyes softened. "Ano... I suppose then... I
apologise for attacking you with the shining aqua
"What about the tennis shoes and interdimensional hammer?"
"That was provoked." Ami giggled. Taiki grinned back.
"Say, the hotel room service makes very good tea. Why
don't you order some up and we can read the book
together?" Ami offered shyly.
"I'd like that," said Taiki.
Yaten limped out of the changing room, although he was
feeling very good from the massage, his ankle was still
bothering him. *I need to get a bandage on it to brace
it, otherwise it will get worse.* He made his way to the
door and reached out for the handle, when he was knocked
over as someone barrelled through the doorway.
"Ow!" he crashed onto the floor.
"<Sorry, kid.>" said the well-dressed woman sweeping past.
All the relaxation began to fade as Yaten glared after her.
"How rude." a voice beside him made him look round.
Rei crouched down beside him. "I know you don't like to
ask, but I'm offering you my shoulder, if you'll allow
Yaten started to say that he didn't and would _never_ need
her help, but then the prospect of getting up to the suite
crossed his mind, along with a few more charitable feelings
towards Rei. After all, she had exhausted herself fighting
today and she wasn't _that_ bad, rather pretty too, in
fact... Yaten stopped this train of thought and nodded.
Rei helped him up and he linked his arm through hers. With
Rei's help, Yaten's progress to the lift was relatively
As they rode in the lift, Yaten turned to her. "So what
have you got planned for tomorrow?"
Rei leaned against the wall and smiled softly. "Flying
back to Japan."
"Already? But I thought you wanted to make it a week
"I did, at first," Rei admitted. "But now it's time to
go home. We, the Sailor Senshi, are needed there."
Yaten caught her eyes. "That's not the _real_ reason is
Rei laughed. "No, it's not." the lift stopped and the
doors opened. She held out her hand to Yaten. "And I'm
Yaten took her arm again. "Suit yourself, I _don't_ care."
The flight back to Japan was more subdued. Everyone was
happy for their own reasons. Taiki and Ami buried
themselves in books and refused to come out except for
meals. Minako got into the champagne again and spent the
entire trip asleep. Makoto, Usagi, Rei and Seiya laughed
themselves to sleep over the romantic comedy movie, whilst
Yaten had shut his eyes and gone to sleep within two minutes
of boarding the plane. Everyone was pleased to be back
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! THE THREE LIGHTS!!!!!"
The fans were pleased to see them back too.
"Hey! Wait for me!" Yaten yelled. "My foot still hurts!"
He hobbled after his brothers.
"See you later guys!" yelled Usagi, waving as they fled the
airport. She looked behind her at her friends, and then
"GET BACK HERE YOU BAKAS! WHO'S GOING TO CARRY ALL THIS
Three weeks later:
Hino-san took a gulp of his first coffee of the day
and called up his daily schedule on the computer.
There was a knock on his office door.
Keido-san, Hino's aide, came in with the morning mail.
"Ohayoo, Keido." Hino took the mail and flicked through
it, a hefty envelope from the bank caught his eye.
"What's this about?"
Keido looked at the bank name. "Isn't that the one that
"Yes." Hino frowned. "What has she been buying _now_
I wonder, I would have thought her wardrobe was quite
large by now."
"But she has such excellent taste, sir." said Keido
with a small fond smile.
Hino glanced at his aide and frowned slightly as he
opened the envelope. "Fond of her, aren't you, Keido."
"Yes, sir... er... that is, as much as one can be with
a young girl who... er... " Keido flushed and waited for
a reprimand. It never came.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?????!!!!!!"
Keido looked at his boss, Hino's face had gone a nice
shade of purple-red and he was staring at a virtual
_book_ of credit card statements. Keido peered over
"Hmmm... eight first class tickets to New York, limo
hire, hotel -Millenium Hilton, room specially reconfigured,
Gucci, Macys, Chanel, Sakura restaurant... oh and an
antique wardrobe... tuxedos???? Cufflinks????" Keido
swallowed. "It looks like she went on a little trip, sir."
"Reall, Keido? I hadn't noticed! What the hell was she
Hino flung the statements down and reached for the phone.
Keido prudently withdrew, however, once he got out of ear
shot he collapse in hysterical laughter.
"Moshimoshi, Hikawa shrine, Rei speaking."
"Oh, hello, Otosan."
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING???? NEW YORK??? MILLENIUM
"Well, I needed _something_ to keep the new clothes in."
"IS THIS SOME SORT OF JOKE???!!!"
"Well _I'm_ not laughing," Rei said in a hard voice. She
smiled sweetly, evilly sweetly. "I was just trying to
let you know you can't buy me."
Incoherent sputterings emitted from the telephone. Rei
leaned against the wall and wound the cord around her
"Are you finished father?"
"What about these other items," her father demanded. "The
tuxedos and so on... is there something you're not telling
"Well even if there was you wouldn't know." said Rei. "But
as a matter of fact I decided that it would be best if I
took some friends along. It looks so bad for a girl to be
unaccompanied in a strange country. So I went with a couple
of my _close_ friends, some of whom are male."
There was a pause. "_Close_ friends? Close _male_ friends?
I hope they're _suitable_ close friends."
"Oh absolutely father," said Rei, a malicious look
spreading across her face. "You know I'd never make a
bad connection. They're the idol singer group known as
the Three Lights."
"IDOL SINGERS? I could forgive you the money you spent,
but hanging around with IDOL SINGERS?"
"But Daddy, they're such good friends. They're always
there when I need them," said Rei.
"_All_ of them?"
"You know I never do things by halves." Rei smirked.
She sighed again. "I could _never_ decide between them.
Although if I had to then Yaten, the _youngest_ one
would be my pick."
More incoherent sputterings. Rei grinned. "Speaking of
bad connections father, I can't seem to make you out.
Thanks for calling!" she hung up, and then leaned against
the wall and laughed and laughed until she cried.
Yaten sighed. "Moshimoshi?" he asked.
"Is this the Three Lights?" a male voice demanded.
"Hai." Yaten winced. He hated it when men called. It was
bad enough with girls!
"I'm Hino-san, Rei's father. What are your intentions
regarding my daughter?"
Yaten's eyebrows raised. "Pardon?"
"You heard me, she's bought you all these expensive
presents, flown you around the world, what do you have
in mind for her???!!!"
Yaten considered his words, then he remembered Rei's
speech at the beginning of the expedition. Then he
thought about the trip itself. And of the price tags.
And of the way Rei had acted.
"We're her toy boys," he answered.
"Toy boys," repeated Yaten. "You know, we fawn over rich,
unprotected women and take them for all they've got, then
drop them." he considered. "Sometimes if they've got good
family connections we marry them, after all, no sense
wasting a decent resource."
The pause on the phone was obviously the calm before the
storm. Yaten could sense Hino's rage. "Just a minute," he
said. He put the phone down and went into the other room.
"Seiya, it's for you."
The music played gently in the background, the waiters
hovered discreetly and there was a soft murmer of
conversation around the restaurant.
He smiled at the young woman opposite him. She looked
very lovely in a rich crimson dress with a delicate
flower in her hair. She looked back at him and a small
hopeful smile hovered on her lips.
He leaned forward. "Do you like this restaurant, Rei-chan?"
Rei's smile widened. "Yes, Father. I like it very much."
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