Mars Revenge
by Orla and Jaelle

Part Three of Five

This is a fanfic based on the original work by Naoko
Takeuchi, whose pink heart wands we are not fit to lick.
Even though she came up with Chibiusa (*hoick*).

A note, our Phobos and Deimos are not the Phobos and
Deimos of the manga story, they are our original
characters.

This story takes place during Sailor Moon Stars, after
the Inner Senshi have found out that the Three Lights
are the Starlights.

This is based on the anime version, in which the Three
Lights are male (until they transform anyway).

C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!).
You can contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or
jaelle@ihug.co.nz

For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'
at: http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm

***

Day Two (continued):

"I am _so_ exhausted." said Seiya, yawning. "I could sleep
for a week."

"You do that then." said Yaten. "We'll probably have more
fun without you tonight anyway."

Seiya looked at him suspiciously. "What do you mean?"

"Don't worry, it's just a night helicopter ride over New
York, but you have a nice rest." Yaten sauntered off in the
direction of the bathroom.

Seiya snapped out of his astonished paralysis. "Hey!"

In the girls room Makoto stretched out on her bed and
picked up her book, Ami took out her new laptop that Rei
had purchased for her and began to format it, Usagi and
Minako posed in front of the mirror and laughed, and Rei
picked up her towel.

"I'm going to use the sauna, I'll be back in about an
hour."

"When does the flight leave?" Makoto asked.

"Ummm... about 9.30, I think, so we'll have enough time
for dinner." Rei left the room.

***

*Aaaaaaahhhhh... blisss.....* thought Rei. "This is just
what I needed. Something to take my mind off Yaten. And
my father. And all the other things that are SCREWING UP
MY LIFE!!! You'll pay! You'll ALL PAY!!!"

*Pop Pop*

"Konnichi wa boss!"

"Hi boss!"

"What in the... Phobos? Deimos?" Rei stared as her sauna
was suddenly invaded by two foreign bodies. Really foreign.
Extra terrestrial in fact. In sailor suits.

"Wow, it's hot in here," said Sailor Deimos, one of Rei's
two bodyguards and psychopath.

"It's a sauna you idiot!" Rei snapped. "What are you two
DOING here?"

"We felt your spirit of vengeance and came to see what
you needed us for," said Sailor Phobos, the other
bodyguard and slightly more sane psychopath. "Deimos,
watch with that chainsaw. You shouldn't have it in here
anyway, it'll rust."

"I'll be careful," Deimos said. "I'm _always_ careful.
You don't trust me Phobos!"

"So?"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" all dignity lost,
Deimos bawled.

"Ugh." Rei tried to get back from the torrent and into
control of the situation. "Look, there's no need for you
two to be here, so maybe you should just go back to Mars."

"But it's so BORING back there," wailed Deimos. "And you
NEVER come visit!"

Rei sweatdropped. Possibly due to the heat of the sauna.
Nah.

"So, what's the word?" Phobos asked. "Monsters? Demons?
Negaverse?"

"Shopping." said Rei. "We eliminated all the others."

"And you didn't save any for US? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

"Can't you stop her?" Rei asked.

Phobos shrugged.

Deimos snapped her mouth shut. "Well fine then. We're
going to hang around with you till the next thing attacks
and then we're going to kill it all by ourselves! So
NYEAH!" she stood up. "Come on Phobos." *Stomp Stomp slip*
"ACK!" *thud* "Hey boss..."

"AGH!" Rei pulled her towel tighter around herself and
hopped back. "Get out of the sauna! I'll talk to you
later!"

"Hmph!" Deimos stood up and, carefully, sauntered out of
the sauna. Phobos followed her, slipping a couple of times
but managing to stay upright.

***

"Which way's the spa?" asked Taiki.

"It's past the sauna." Seiya led the way. The Three Lights
had decided that, in lieu of a nap, they'd take a nice
relaxing spa. They wandered around the corner.

***

"HOTCHA!" Deimos eyes lit up (literally).

The Three Lights stared at her.

"Who...?"

Phobos stepped out behind Deimos and blushed. "Oh my."

"Oh this is even BETTER than killing demons!" said
Deimos. She leant back in the open doorway. "THANKS BOSS!
Are they ALL for me?"

The Three Lights looked panicked.

"What in? EEP!" Rei looked out the door, and then ducked
back in quickly.

"Rei? Who are these... people?" asked Taiki.

"More Sailor Senshi! They must be with Galaxia!" yelled
Seiya. "They've got Rei trapped. Quick, transform."

*Starlight... Starlight...*

"Fighter Star Power - Make UP!"

"Healer Star Power - Make UP!"

"Maker Star Power - Make UP!"

*Insert way cool transformation sequence here*

"Sailor Starlights - Stage ON!" shouted the three... girls.

Deimos and Phobos stared.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! My heart
is broken! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

The Starlights sweatdropped.

***

Later:

"So they're the Senshi of Mars?" Taiki repeated.

"Uh huh, uhuh, we protect the boss!" said Deimos.

"Are they always this... enthusiastic?" asked Seiya.

Phobos demurely looked down. "We're only doing our job."

"Which, by the way, we happen to love," said Deimos.
"But we're not that bad. You should see Io when she gets
going!"

"Don't remind me," said Makoto. "I still have scars."

"I... see..." said Taiki. "Hmmm..." The Three Lights
regarded the two new senshi, who regarded them right
back with a mixture of lust and... hell, who needs
anything else?

Usagi placed another cold cloth on Rei's head. "I think
she's coming round."

"Phew." said Yaten. "Then maybe she can send these two
bubbleheads home."

"WHAT did you call us???!!!"

Rei awoke to the strange and humourous sight of Deimos
trying to claw Yaten's lungs out whilst Phobos hung onto
his back and beat him over the head with a cushion.

"Oh... I've missed these guys."

"Really?"

"No."

***

The helicopter pilot looked down.

On the helicopter launch pad, a group of young people
stared at the descending chopper. They were all very pretty
and well dressed. Two of them seemed to be a bit nervous,
and one had a black eye, but all the others seemed to be
dealing okay with the prospect of the flight.

He landed and stepped out. "<Good evening, I'm looking for
Hino, party of eight?>"

One very pretty dark-haired girl stepped forward. "<That's
us, but I'm afraid we have two extra people.>"

The pilot looked taken aback. "<Oh... well then...>" A gold
card flashed under his nose.

"<You can sort this out, right?>" the girl asked.

***

"Alright gang," Rei shouted. "Eight of us are going in the
big helicopter, and they have a smaller helicopter which
can take two people."

[Okay, so you probably can't get eight people in a
helicopter. You also don't have sailor-suited heros
prowling the street. Fiction people, fiction! It's a big
helicopter! - J & O]

"We'll go in the smaller one!" said Phobos, hanging onto
Deimos. They were both wearing Rei's spare outfits, and
looked rather nervous and odd. This was because Rei had
insisted they leave all their weaponry in the hotel rooms.
Deimos looked pale and Phobos was sweating.

"Absolutely not! I want you two where I can keep an eye
on you!" said Rei.

"Usako and I will go in the other helicopter!" said Seiya,
grabbing Usagi's hand and jumping into it before anyone
could say anything.

"Chotto!" said Usagi. Seiya leaned over to her. "Do you
_really_ want to ride with those two and Yaten?"

"Er... how fast can this thing takeoff?"

Seiya and Usagi waved to their friends, most of whom were
shaking fists and yelling. However, the sound of the
helicopter drowned them all out.

"Aaaaahhh..." Seiya leant back and draped an arm around
Usagi. "The view is so beautiful."

"We're not even up very far yet!"

"I'm not talking about the city."

***

Rei and Yaten stepped out of the helicopter, trying to
ignore each others presence.

"Never... again..." said Yaten.

"What are YOU complaining about?" demanded Rei. "Why did
_we_ have to sit up the front together."

"It was all your so-called friends' fault."

"Wow, wasn't that so COOL!" said Minako. "It was so
BEAUTIFUL! Didn't you think so Rei."

"Grrr..."

"Hey boss, that was so much fun. I never thought you
could have fun without blowing something up."

"You tried."

"Oh," Phobos looked embarrassed. "I did, but Taiki-chan
convinced me not too. He's so intelligent." Hearts
appeared around her.

Taiki nervously rubbed the back of his neck as he
retreated.

"Oh Taiki!" Phobos threw herself towards him and crashed
into Ami. She stared, "What are you doing?"

Ami glared at her. "You shouldn't throw yourself at
people," she scolded. Phobos looked confused. Then
enlightenment dawned.

"OH! You want him for YOURSELF! I'm sorry! I thought he
was free. Well far be it for me to horn in on another
senshi's turf." Phobos waved. "I'll just switch to Seiya."

"Hey, how come I can't have Seiya?" Deimos demanded.

"I called dibs, that's why. You can have Yaten."

"But he called me a bubblehead!"

"You _are_ a bubblehead."

"Oh yeah!"

"ARGH!" Yaten ran for the lift. *If I can just get to my
room....*

"W-wait..." said Ami finally. "You've got the wrong idea."
She was blushing furiously. "I... mmph." A large hand
covered her mouth.

"PLEASE play along," said Taiki. "I'm BEGGING you!"

"What was that?" Phobos turned to see Taiki embracing
Ami. She blushed. "Ecchi! Shouldn't do that in public!"
Ears blushing, she ran over to Rei. "What are you looking
for boss?"

"The other helicopter. Where ARE they?" Rei worried.

"There it is!" said Makoto.

They watched as the smaller 'copter landed. Usagi and Seiya
got out. They were both laughing. Rei folded her arms and
glared at the pair, Phobos and Deimos copied her pose. Then
Deimos leaned back.

"Hey, sis! Why are we glaring at Usagi and Seiya?"

"I don't know!"

"Seiya's making up to Usagi and she already _has_ a
boyfriend!" snapped Rei.

"Oh." said Deimos, her brow wrinkled as she thought.
"Who's he?"

"You've met him! Mamoru... Tuxedo Mask."

"Oh." Deimos thought a bit more - you could hear the
wheels slowly turning. "Don't we hate him?"

Phobos frowned. "Yeah, we do."

Rei realised that the twins were no longer glaring at
Usagi and Seiya, in fact they were grinning.

"Hey Seiya!" Phobos called.

Seiya retreated behind Usagi. "What?" he asked warily.

Phobos gave him a thumbs-up. "Looking good! You two are
so kawaii!!!!"

Rei cast an anguished look at Phobos. "How could you?!"

Deimos put an arm around Rei's shoulders. "But if Usagi is
with _him_, then you can go out with whathisface again...
although personally I think you're better off with Yaten."

"Aargh!" Rei shook off Deimos and beat a path to the lift
catching up with Yaten. He stared at her in surprise. She
punched the close button. "I've had it!" she yelled.

Yaten winced. "Could you please lower your voice and _try_
not to sound like an alley-cat on heat."

Rei looked at him with murder in her eyes. "Oshaberi...
Bakayarou... BAKABAKA!!!!!" she screamed at sonic sound
in his ear.

Yaten passed out from the neural overload and Rei smiled
in satisfaction. "Ahhhh... that felt good."

***

After their exhausting (and somewhat frightening) evening,
the group voted for snacks and sleep (although by snacks
we mean that Usagi, Seiya, Phobos, Deimos and Mina actually
ate the equivalent of dinner again). Yaten went to bed
early, pleading a headache, and glaring at Rei. Taiki
self-conciously sat next to Ami and made small talk whilst
Deimos benevolently looked on and Phobos eyed him like a
side of beef. Eventually the conversation turned to neuro-
technobabble and the eyes of the two senshi glazed over.
Shortly afterwards most of the others turned in.

"Get plenty of rest," Rei called. "Tomorrow we shop!"

"I thought we shopped _today_," said Makoto.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You call that SHOPPING?!
That's not shopping. _This_," she pulled out eight
gold cards, "is SHOPPING!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

In the boys room, Yaten covered his head with the
pillow and groaned. *And I thought Usagi's tones could
bend metal*. [Just imagine Naga, Kodachi and Jinnai all
rolled up into one laugh. - J & O]

***

That morning (early in the morning):

Seiya stirred. The noise grated in his ears again. Finally
he pulled his head out from under the pillow.

"Taiki?"

"Grmf."

"Taiki, Yaten's snoring. Do something."

"Why me?"

"You're closer?"

*SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRREEE*

"Huh?"

Seiya reflected that, for all his brothers genius, he was a
lousy thinker at 3 am in the morning.

"Yaten is snoring."

"Yaten doesn't snore. He told me so."

"You believed him?"

*SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOREEEEE*
 
"Seiya, stop snoring!"

"I'm not snoring, Yaten is!"

"Yaten told me _you_ snored."

"Yaten is a big fat liar! Now will you please do
something!"

*SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOREEEE*

Taiki blinked. "Tired." he moaned.

"Argh!" Seiya sat up and headed over to Yaten's bed,
tripping over various items on the way. "How come we've
only had this room two nights and it's already a pigsty?"

*SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOREEE*

"SHUT UP!" Seiya gave his brother a vicious poke in the
side. Yaten mumbled, sighed, and turned over. Seiya smiled,
blissful silence.

*SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOREEE*

"Oh that is IT!" Seiya grabbed a pillow and jumped on top
of his brother, smashing the pillow over his face. "BE
QUIET!!!" He held the pillow there. Yaten started to
thrash underneath him, muffled shouts could be heard from
under the pillow. Seiya distinctly heard "minako!"

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? IT'S THREE O'CLOCK IN THE
MORNING!!!!!"

The lights snapped on and Seiya turned to see Rei, Phobos,
Deimos, Usagi and Minako standing in the doorway.

"Seiya-kun!" said Minako in shock.

"Oh please!" said Seiya. "I..." He noticed that Yaten's
movements were getting weaker. "Oops." He took the pillow
off his brothers face.

"*GASP*" Yaten drew in the air. Sweet sweet air! He looked
around.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU ALMOST KILLED ME?"

"YOU DESERVED IT!" yelled Seiya. "I WAS DOING A FAVOUR TO
HUMANITY!"

"Well, I can't argue with _that_," said Rei. "But couldn't
you have waited until morning?"

"Some of us are TRYING to sleep," said Usagi pointedly.

"Argh! It's not my fault. I was provoked!" Seiya waved
the pillow around. "He was snoring."

"I was NOT!"

"You were TOO! It sounded like a herd of elephants was
sleeping in here!" Seiya threw up his hands. "I'm
surprised the entire hotel wasn't shaking."

Yaten looked offended. "I do NOT snore."

"That's true. Humans snore. _You_ sonic boom."

*SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOREEE*

There was silence in the room. Every eye turned to look
at the third bed, where Taiki was blissfully asleep.

*SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORREEE*

Yaten looked accusingly at Seiya. Seiya smiled nervously
at his brother.

"Get... off... me..." Yaten said quietly and dangerously.

"It's always the quiet ones," said Phobos.

"Can I wake him up? Can I wake him up? Huh huh huh?" asked
Deimos.

"With the odd exception of course."

The girls turned to leave, "Good NIGHT!" said Rei on the
way out. "Try to keep any murders quiet please." They
shut the door behind them.

After a brief (and energetic battle) Seiya emerged
triumphant to administer a thorough pillow beating to
his other brother. Then the three boys settled down to
get some sleep.

*SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORREEE*
*SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORREEE*

*I'm in hell,* thought Seiya.

***

"Girls, can I sleep in your room?"

***

The next morning:

"Why is Seiya in the bath?"

***

End of Day Two

Go on to Part Four

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