Hotel Osaka
A
Prince of Tennis Fanfic
By
Jaelle
(who has never been in
either a honeymoon suite or Osaka, but never mind)
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Echizen
Ryoma sat in his hotel room and sulked. This away trip already sucked
and they’d barely arrived. He hadn’t even gotten to play any TENNIS
yet.
It SHOULD have been good. His old
(emphasis on the OLD
part) teammates had decided (okay, EIJI-senpai had decided) that they
should all have a get-together in the holidays. A “nearly one-year
reunion” of the Seishun Gakuen Junior Tennis Team, which meant that at
LAST he had someone decent to play tennis with. They’d even managed to
persuade Kawamura-senpai along for the trip, and the team was once
again assembled. He was HAPPY. Or, well, content, because if he
admitted to being happy Momo-senpai and Eiji-senpai would probably
break his neck glomping him.
They’d finally decided on Osaka as
their destination of choice, and had set up a bunch of
promising-sounding matches with people from new schools. New opponents,
new techniques. More tennis! Fun!
But first he had to get a decent
nights worth of sleep.
Ryoma
was not exactly known for being a light sleeper. In fact, he was
usually a very sound sleeper (although not in the same class as
Akutagawa Jirou). It was certainly not unusual for him to doze off on
the bus, on the train, or randomly at practices when he was bored. He
could even sleep under the current circumstances. The problem was, he
really didn’t want to.
He stared again at his surroundings
and
then switched his gaze to glare at the telephone. Tezuka-buchou had
been remarkably unsympathetic when he’d called to complain about his
room and ask if anyone wanted to trade with him. It had been a very
long, tiring trip to Osaka, plagued by problems, lost luggage and
nearly lost teammates, and it was now very late. Then the hotel had
lost their bookings and had to assign them random rooms, and EVERYTHING
was a mess and they had an early start planned for tomorrow.
“Just go to sleep, Echizen,” had
been Tezuka’s rather curt last words before hanging up.
Ryoma
considered his situation. Who could he call who would be more receptive
to his request? Nearly everyone else was sure to find the situation
funny, and he didn’t feel like being laughed at right now. No, there
was only one thing to do. And he felt a little guilty doing it, but
really, there was only so much he was willing to put up with.
He dialed again.
“Hello? You know, it’s really late to
be calling.”
“Eiji-senpai,”
Ryoma said flatly. “Can I come down to your room and watch the 11
o’clock news? I want to see the sports section.”
“Eh? Don’t you have a TV in your room
Ochibi?”
“Well,
yes,” Ryoma acknowledged. “It’s a nice big one too. But it doesn’t seem
to be getting the news. Or the sports. Just some weird shows.”
“Weird shows?”
Ryoma
could hear Oishi-senpai asking Eiji-senpai what was going on in the
background and turned up the volume on the TV while Eiji-senpai replied.
“Ah... ah... AHHHH!!!”
“Ochibi-chan? What’s that strange
noise?”
“That’s
the TV senpai,” Ryoma twirled the remote in his fingers. “It’s one of
those weird shows I was telling you about. I can’t work out the plot.
The main character just showed up at the bank and then all the tellers
started taking off their clothes. Something about an illegal
withdrawal. Now they’re, uh...”
“HARDER!”
“Doing
something...” Ryoma trailed off, tilting his head to one side to watch
the action. “That looks uncomfortable. He must be pretty acrobatic.
Hey, Eiji-senpai, do you think you could get both your legs up around
your neck like that?”
“NYA??? Ah... ah... maybe you should
just get some sleep Ochibi.”
Ryoma
smirked faintly and switched to a more petulant whine. “But I CAN’T
sleep Eiji-senpai, I can’t get the bed to stop vibrating!”
“V... vibrating?”
Ryoma’s
smirk got wider as he listened to Oishi-senpai demand more information
in a louder voice. “I don’t know how to make it stop,” he complained,
ignoring the conversation in the background. “I TRIED pushing some of
the other buttons but instead it turns out they’re for the lights and
music. I’m NOT sleeping on a vibrating bed, senpai. What if I fall off?
The sheets are all slippery! Although... maybe that’s what those straps
and ties are for? Am I supposed to strap myself into the bed to keep
from falling off, senpai?”
“Your bed has STRAPS??? And TIES???”
“WHAT???”
“And
it hasn’t been cleaned here very well,” Ryoma continued to whine. “The
previous person left all their stuff behind. Very sloppy for a
policeman.”
“Policeman?”
“Well who else would leave
handcuffs in the desk drawer, Eiji-senpai?”
“I, uh, I...”
“And
he’s left some of his toiletries behind as well. Lots of oils and
stuff,” Ryoma decided to go for the coup de grace. “Hey senpai, what’s
scented lube for?”
There was the sound of a door
opening and
slamming and some shouted demands in the background. Ryoma hung on for
a few minutes longer to see if his senpais would think to ask which
room he’d been assigned, but when they didn’t he shrugged and hung up.
He vaguely turned his attention back to the movie playing and waited
for his teammates to arrive.
The door slammed open ten minutes
later.
“OCHIBI-CHAN!!”
Eiji, Oishi and Momo sprinted into the Honeymoon Suite and gaped at the
wall mounted 48-inch TV, currently broadcasting an extremely
pornographic movie. Behind them stood Tezuka, a frozen expression of
horror on his face as he took in the leather furniture, decorated with
some of the other items Ryoma had found while snooping through the
drawers and cupboards earlier. Kaidou took one look at the room and
reeled out in horror, as did Kawamura. Inui tried to cover up his
blushes with his notebook and a choked mutter of “Good data”, but noone
was fooled. Fuji just took the entire scene in, and then directed a
faintly approving smile at Ryoma, who looked as oblivious as he
possibly could.
Half an hour later, Ryoma was
safely ensconced
in a nice, kid-safe, hotel room and Oishi-senpai had finally finished
having hysterics, having been reassured by Ryoma’s complete
non-reaction that the entire set-up had gone completely over the
thirteen-year-old boy’s head. Buchou had been apologetic about ignoring
Ryoma’s earlier complaints, and there had been no further trouble
(aside from possible mental and emotional scarring from those who’d
seen more of the suite), except when Momo-senpai had been sent off for
20 laps around the block, after being caught watching the movie while
he was supposedly helping Fuji-senpai turn everything off.
Ryoma
curled up on his bed and closed his eyes. He was probably going to get
babied a bit for this over the next couple of days, but he could live
with that. Maybe they’d treat him to food more often, definitely a
plus. And poor Oishi-senpai would worry a bit about whether or not the
“impressionable” youth had been affected by the stuff in the room. Oh
well, he’d just have to look even more oblivious than usual.
It
wasn’t that he pretended to be oblivious. If it wasn’t tennis, he
wasn’t interested, and it showed. But even he knew all about sex. Which
was exactly the problem. He knew ALL about sex. Ryoma snorted and
rolled over, curling into a more comfortable position. The only thing
that had affected him even remotely in that suite had been the
wonderfully huge bath. He was almost regretful he’d had to give that
up, but his life wouldn’t have been worth living if his senpais had
found out about it in any other way. He yawned.
For once, having a pervert for a
father had come in handy.
(He still wanted to know how to
turn the vibrating bed off, though.)
End
A/N: I blame Lois and Clark for the
hotel room. That episode KILLED me.
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