This story was inspired by, and written under the influence of, Chevy's Mississippi Mud Cake... you have been warned. (Chocolate, yay! Bounce.)

All characters herein belong to and are trademarked by Marvel Comics. Not that we think that they're doing a bad job or anything... honest.

Don't Feed Her After Midnight!

By Jaelle and Orla

Joseph paced back and forth in the hallway, swinging his arms nervously. Gambit watched him from the sitting room, an almost visible aura of hatred emanating from him. Then suddenly, a slow smile spread itself across his face. He got up and stood in the doorway. Leaning nonchalantly against the doorjamb he spoke up; "So, goin' on a date wit Rogue eh?"
Joseph stopped, startled, and nodded, "Yes."
"Any idea where y'gonna go?"
"Uh no... I thought a nice Mexican restaurant."
"Argh. She hates Mexican."
"Really? How about Italian?"
"Worse."
"Japanese?"
"Not unless you want to come home witout your head."
"Oh. Well, what would you suggest then?"
Gambit smiled, "Well... dere's always.... Sally's Southern Sundaes."
"Sally's... what?"
"Southern Sundaes. Rogue's _favourite_ restaurant."
"Her favourite, hmmm...."
"Yup, she _loves_ the place. You want the address?"
"Please." Gambit relayed a few directions to Joseph. Then both men were stunned into silence by the arrival of their mutual object of lust. The mutant belle known as Rogue.
"Glurk."
"Hnk."
"Well, you boys sure know how to make a girl feel appreciated." smiled Rogue.
"Gah."
"*Sigh*."
"Pick your jaw up off the floor and let's go!" Rogue cried, spinning around and making her skirt flare out. She ran down the stairs, grabbed Joseph and dragged him out the door. It slammed shut behind them and Gambit stared at it for a few moments, then let out a deep sigh.
"Gambit? Was that Rogue and Joseph I just heard leaving?" asked Storm, entering the room.
"Uh yeah, they goin' out t'dinner."
"That's nice, where?"
"Oh, just a little restaurant."
Storm stopped on her way out of the room and turned slowly, "_Which_ 'little restaurant'?"
Gambit shrugged innocently. Storm's face became a study of horror. "No, you _didn't_."
Gambit smirked.
"GAMBIT! Don't you remember what happened last time?"
"Perfectly."

***

"Sally's Southern Sundaes? Joseph, how did you know? Ah love this place!"
Joseph shrugged, "Oh, it was just a wild guess."
They went inside, a waitress showed them to a cosy booth. Joseph looked at the menu and frowned, "Uh... Rogue, does this restaurant provide _real_ food?"
"What do you mean? This is great food."
"It's a dessert restaurant."
"So?"
Joseph blinked. Weren't women supposed to avoid sweets like the plague? Oh well, as long as Rogue was happy...
"Okay, Ah'm ready to order."
"Great, now remember, this is my treat."
The waitress arrived, Rogue smiled brightly, "Hi Polly, nice to see you."
"Long time no see. You want the usual?"
"Sure."
Hald an hour later Joseph was staring openmouthed as Rogue shoveled her fifth piece of chocolate cake in her mouth. "Uh, Rogue, are you full yet?"
"No way!" Rogue licked her fork clean, "This is _so_ yum! In fact Ah could eat more!"
Joseph leaned over and looked Rogue up and down, "Where does it go?" he wondered aloud.
"What did you say?"
"Rogue, how do you fit into your uniform in the morning?"
Her eyes narrowed, "Are you saying that I... Am... FAT??!!"
"NO! NO! Of course not! But... all this cake..."
Polly set another (large) slice of cake dripping with chocolate cream in front of Rogue. Joseph groaned, this was going to be a long night. Not to mention expensive.

***

"Whee... Ah'm flyin'."
"Yes, you are, Rogue... people are staring at us." Joseph looked around nervously.
"Awww... don't be such a stick-in-the-mud. Next thing you'll be posing dramatically and spouting off tortured solliloquoys. No wait, Ah'm not s'posed to talk about the past." Rogue giggled.
"Rogue, are you feeling alright?"
"Ah feel fine! Ah feel great! Gonna have a whole cake on a plate, startin' hea, startin' now, sugah everythin's comin' up roses an' daffodils..." sang Rogue.
"Oh boy."
Rogue giggled.
"Rogue."
Rogue giggled.
Joseph considered this. "Orange." he said, trying an experiment.
Rogue giggled.
"Uh oh..."
"Hey, Ah know!"
"What?"
"Let's go nightclubbing!"
"Rogue, I don't really..."
"Come _on_." Rogue grabbed Joseph and hauled him away. What did I do to deserve this? Joseph despaired.

***

The music was infernally loud and gave Joseph an instant headache.
"Rogue, I really don't think... urk!"
He was flung halfway across the room, and shuddered to a halt in the middle of the dance floor. Rogue jumped at him and grabbed his hands, "C'mon sugah, let your hair down. Oops *giggle* it's already down."
"Rogue, if these people find out who we are..."
"Who cares? I don't! Hey everybody! We're mu...mmph!"
Joseph pressed his hand (protected by his magnetic shield) firmly over her mouth and hauled her to one side. "You are acting crazy!"
"Mmmm.... MMMMGH!"
"Look, I'll let you go _if_ you promise to behave."
"Mmmm!" Rogue looked at him, eyes wide in total innocence.
Joseph sighed, "Why do I _not_ believe you?"
He took his hand away.
"You... white-haired... total... JERK!"
Joseph found himself heading straight for the wall. Oh not again! He created a shield to protect himself as he smashed through the wall and landed with an almighty crash in the middle of the street. Rogue flew out after him, laughing. "You should have seen your face!"
Joseph picked himself up, "Rogue, I think we had better leave."
"What for? It's only just midnight."
"Yes but..."
"Anyway, all this exercise has made me hungry again. How bout we hit Sally's again?"
"NO!"
"Joseph, we are going to Sally's."
"Why me?"
Rogue giggled and draped herself over him, "Cos you're cute, that's why."
"Me?! Cute?!!"
"Mmmmm..." Rogue sighed and lay her head against his. For a brief moment, Joseph knew hope.
"Chocolate!" howled Rogue and ran down the street. Joseph watched her go and wondered whether he could go home now without feeling guilty.
Rogue would be alright... but the people... Steeling himself inwardly, he ran after her.

***

"Flyin' away on a wing and a prayer, who could it beeeeeeeee... believe it or not it's just meeeeee.."
Joseph watched as Rogue swung ever higher on the playground swings. After a brief trip back to Sally's for a "refill", he had managed to convince Rogue to go to the park where it was quiet, romantic, and more importantly, empty.
"Joseph, are you, havin', a good, time?" asked Rogue between swings.
"Oh yes," said Joseph, "I can't remember ever having such a ... unique time."
"Oh good, cos Ah'm havin', a good time, too an', Ah want you, to have one too."
"Don't worry about that, this is a night I will _never_ forget."
"Hee..." Rogue let go of the swing and hung in midair, "The stars are beautiful tonight." she said, staring upwards.
"Aw, how romantic." said an ugly voice.
Joseph turned to see ten men standing behind him. They were carrying weapons. Reaching out with his power he cursed quietly when he could find no metal in them. He also cursed when he discovered that the three shots of whiskey he'd downed at Sally's to get through the rest of the night had finally hit and were hampering his ability to aim (and stand up). One of the men moved forward so that he could see the insignia on his shirt - F.O.H.
"It's definitely one of those nights," Joseph said glumly.

***

Joseph looked at the prone bodies, "Was that really necessary?"
"Of course it was!"
Joseph eyed her nervously, "Yes, but running up to them shouting 'I love everyone tonight' and kissing them was a bit extreme... uh, how is your head?"
"Just fine mutie!" Rogue grimaced, "Ah mean Joseph."
"Riiight."
Rogue made punching motions, "I could take on the world. Hey! I could take _over_ the world!"
"Rogue, we are going home."
"Get your hands offa me mutant scum!" WHAM! "oops."
Joseph untangled himself from the swing and rubbed his left eye.
Rogue's lip trembled, "Oh Joseph, Ah'm so sorry."
"I accept your apology. Can we go home now? _Please_?"
"Sure." Rogue followed him meekly, then began to giggle.
"What now?" asked Joseph through gritted teeth.
"You're gonna have a beauty of a black eye."
"What a surprise."

***

Gambit looked up as he heard the distinctive sound of the door squeaking open. Grinning evilly he snuck to the top of the stairs and peered down at the sight below.
Rogue staggered in the door behind Joseph. His hair was tangled and he was sporting the beginnings of a brilliant black eye. With a sigh he leant against the wall and slid down to the floor.
"Um... Ah'm gonna just uh... go clean up uh... g'night."
"Good night." said Joseph firmly.
Gambit smirked once and then assumed a look of innocent enquiry as he strolled down the stairs, "So, how'd it go?" he asked.
"Oh fine," said Joseph, "Rogue had a good time, we went to a nightclub, we met some new friends, Rogue told me a little about the mansion - she's going to give me a tour later."
"Oh really?" Gambit scowled. "I can do dat."
"Really?" Joseph sounded pleasantly surprised, "Well let's go then."

***

"... and dis is de Danger Room."
Joseph looked at it, "How does it work?"
"Oh it's quite easy," said Gambit, "You push this button, clear it here, press that, and enter."
The two men entered the Danger Room and the door closed behind them. "And what does this button do?" asked Joseph, holding up a remote control.
Gambit looked surprised, "Dat's de remote! Hey! Dat's de lock!"
Click. *lock*
"And I believe this one turns off the safety protocols," said Joseph, his eyes beginning to glow.
"You a quick learner mon ami," said Gambit, reaching surreptitiously for some cards.
"Oh you'd be _surprised_."

***

"Joseph! There y'are. Ah've been looking all over for ya," said Rogue.
Joseph smiled at her and walked unsteadily out of the Danger Room. Rogue noted that he had acquired a split lip to match his black eye.
"I'm sorry Rogue, Gambit was just showing me around."
"But... Ah already gave you the tour yesterday," said Rogue puzzledly.
"I needed to refresh my memory. Gambit and I were just discussing a few special features of the Danger Room."
"Is he still in there?"
"Yeeeees... but he's not ready to come out yet. He's working off some stress, you know, getting the weight off his shoulders."
"Oh well, Ah wanted t'say Ah'm sorry that things didn't turn out so good last night and t'ask if you wanted to try again. This time _you_ get to choose the entertainment, my treat."
"That sounds wonderful."
They walked off together.
In the Danger Room, a heap of rubble shifted briefly, then settled again.

THE END.