A Read or Die Fanfic
Note: Because I love the scene in the first episode where Joker
comments that she lights up around books, and then he gives her a comb
to tidy up. Also because he was voiced in English by the amazingly sexy
tones of Crispin Freeman. And also because librarians are the secret
masters of all knowledge, and not nearly as innocent as people think we
BTW, I did some poking around and
found out that Yomiko
actually HAS a boyfriend in the manga. So clearly this is set in the
anime-verse. Also, I was unable to find out Joker and Yomiko's ages, so
I just went by what it looks like to me. Enough notes, on with the fic!
wasn't entirely sure when he'd fallen in love with Yomiko Readman, AKA
"The Paper". The realisation had crept up on him on silent feet, and
blindsided him one morning when he was chiding her gently for the messy
state of her hair. Proffering a comb he was suddenly struck by the
desire to pull her into a deserted room and provide a much better
reason for the way her hair stuck up in tufts, as though someone had
run their fingers through it in a passionate moment. While she
blushingly accepted it and straightened herself up a little, he stood
frozen and unable to speak, trying to absorb what had happened to him.
I am in love with Yomiko.
he was able to recover himself before she noticed. From that day on
however, he knew that it was true. He loved her, despite her
strangeness. Or perhaps because of it. He began to schedule more
meetings in bookshops and libraries, even though he knew it meant she'd
pay little attention to the briefing. Her appearance suffered because
of her distraction, but he made sure to always have a comb, and took
great joy in finding a small problem with her hair and clothes, because
it meant he could look at her again, maybe even tease her gently. And
as she would stammer and flush and try to pull herself together, his
heart would warm.
He never spoke to anyone about his
Well, how could he? It would have been improper for him to even attempt
to romance an agent, even a free agent. And anyway, she was such an
innocent girl. Brilliant, intelligent, and talented, but still so
about the world and all that was in it, and he was so much older than
her. It wouldn't have been right.
And so he watched and loved in
silence, until one day when Drake cornered him in the bathroom and
had no idea how to respond to Drake's ranting about "love-sick
teenagers", but he felt himself going red despite his best efforts.
He'd had no idea that he had been that obvious. Did everyone know?
Surely not. He relaxed slightly as Drake continued yelling and waving
his arms around. Drake was frequently called in as backup for Yomiko,
and was often at the same briefings (a precaution in case The Paper
forgot what she was supposed to be doing). He saw them together more
than anyone else, and must have caught Joker out in a weak moment.
he bore out the rest of Drake's tantrum and waited for him to finish.
When the other man finally ground to a halt, he quietly assured him
that he, Drake, was completely mistaken about Joker's feelings towards
The Paper. Drake had given him an incredulous look, shaken his head,
and stalked off. Joker felt a little bad for misleading the man, but a
glance at his pocketwatch told him that he was late for a meeting with
Yomiko. He wasn't sure why this one had been called, as the paperwork
on it had not yet appeared on his desk, but he thought it would be
alright if he went to wait with her for the mission briefing to arrive.
Yomiko was talking to his secretary
Wendy when he entered the conference room.
morning Yomiko, you look..." he found his throat closing involuntarily
as he strangled what he really wanted to say. She'd outdone herself in
terms of dishevelment today. Her hair was sticking out wildly in all
directions, she had forgotten her coat and vest, the hem on her skirt
was crooked, and she'd missed the top button of her shirt, which gaped
open, exposing a delightful expanse of pale skin around her throat. He
longed to nibble on it.
"Ah, excuse me, I'll just go get
tea!" Wendy squeaked, exiting the room quickly. He was a bit surprised
to hear the lock click after her, but was distracted by the vision
Yomiko made a feeble attempt to
up. "Sorry Joker-san," she said, accidentally flashing her slender legs
as she tried to pull her skirt straight. "I know I'm a bit of a mess."
and attempting to not think about what he'd like to be doing with her
right now, he fished out a comb and held it out for her.
stared at it, and him, blankly. "Could you do it for me?" she asked him
suddenly. "I don't have a mirror, and I'm afraid of making it worse."
considered her request and then stepped behind her, and began the long
task of tugging her soft, silky hair into some semblance of order,
while she fiddled with her shirt.
She really had the most beautiful
hair, and he was careful not to stroke it too obviously as he tidied
"Ouch!" Yomiko yelled as he hit a
tangle. "Not so hard!"
"Sorry," he apologised.
She leant back against him
slightly. "You need to be more careful." Her voice became softer. "Be
gentle with me."
froze at her tone and words, and she slowly turned to face him. The
next button on her shirt had somehow come undone and this time he
couldn't prevent himself from blushing.
He couldn't answer and she put her
arms around him, snuggling into him. "I love you."
"Yomiko..." He couldn't say
anything more. He shouldn't say anything more. She was young, and
you thinking I'm innocent again?" She enquired muffledly through his
waistcoat. Yomiko tilted her head back and looked up at him, an impish
smile crossing her face. "You know, I read an awful lot Joker-san. I
read everything. And anything."
A horrified expression
crossed his face before he could stop it as he took in her meaning. His
Yomiko? Reading THOSE kinds of books?
She giggled at the
expression on his face and hugged him tighter. "I have some excellent
manuals if you’d like some tips on what to do next," she offered.
he finally recovered from the shock Joker let out a growl and frowned
down at her. "Not any more you don't," he said sternly. "I'm
confiscating all of them young lady, and then we're going to have a
discussion about your reading habits!"
She pouted, "ALL of them?"
leaned down and kissed her, since he didn't seem to have any choice in
the matter anymore. It was as wonderful as he'd thought it would be.
She kissed him back eagerly, and surprisingly energetically. When they
finally stopped he inhaled some much-needed air.
"Well, perhaps you can keep one or
two. After I've thoroughly inspected them, of course."
Drabble Sequel: Collection Maintenance
Joker glared at Yomiko with a stern
look, examining her from head to toe, his arms folded across his chest.
"Just look at you, The Paper! Your
hair is a mess, and your clothes are wrinkled! What do you have to say
blinked owlishly at him. "Well if YOU hadn't thrown them all over the
room when we got home last night they wouldn't BE wrinkled." She
pointed out. "And your speech would have been more impressive if YOU'D
been wearing clothes."
"But at least my hair was tidy."
"Oh shut up and come back to bed."
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