A One Piece/Animaniacs Crossover
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Rating: G. Parody.
Word count: 987.
A/N: Probably this will be funny
only to, well, me, but never mind.
was an unusual morning on the Going Merry. Nothing had broken yet. The
crew were hanging around with nothing particularly pressing to do,
watching Usopp read a note he'd been handed by a small boy earlier. The
"You look pleased," Sanji observed.
"Some good news? A beautiful girl wants to date you?"
"Better!" Usopp waved the note in
the air. "This is from my cousin, Chikin Bu. He's in town, and wants to
The crew, with the exception of
Zoro, sat up alertly.
"Wow, you're related to Chikin Bu?"
Luffy's eyes were huge. "I heard he's a great pirate!"
"I heard he's a brilliant and
talented thief!" Nami said enthusiastically.
"I heard he's extremely
knowledgeable," Robin mused.
"I heard he's a giant chicken."
Everybody looked at Zoro. "What the
heck are you talking about?" Sanji demanded.
"Hey, I'm just saying what I
heard." The swordsman yawned.
"Did you hear it in a dream?"
"Do you wanna fight?"
Everyone rushed to the gangplank.
"Cousin!" Usopp cried. "Come on up! Everyone, meet my cousin."
group clustered around the pirate as he walked on deck. He was tall and
strong, wearing a colourful vest and an impressive pirate hat. A patch
covered his left eye.
"Wow, it's an honour!" Chopper
"And a pleasure," Nami added,
Chikin bowed politely to the group.
Sanji returned the bow. "It's nice
to finally meet someone with manners out here," he said, looking at Zoro
Zoro was looking at them as though
they'd all gone insane. "Are you guys blind? He's a chicken! A giant
"Zoro!" Nami looked appalled. "I'm
sorry about that sir," she leaned in closer to Chikin and whispered,
"I'm not drunk!"
"Shut up seaweed-head, you're
embarrassing us in front of our guest!" Sanji aimed a quick kick at the
Zoro ducked and looked at Luffy.
"Luffy, don't you..."
"Wow, you're so strong!" Luffy
laughed as he and Chikin Bu engaged in a friendly arm-wrestling
he?" Usopp was having the time of his life as the rest of the crew
(minus Zoro) clustered around his cousin. "Hey cousin, is it true you
defeated Colonel Smoker of the Marines in single combat?"
"Woooooooow... you beat Smoker?"
Luffy and Chopper's eyes were huge. "That's sooooooo cool."
"Bkawk-wawk," Chikin replied
modestly. "Bwawk awk awk kwawk. Bu-KAWK!!!"
crew fell about laughing. "That's brilliant!" Nami said, holding her
stomach and trying to breathe. "Why didn't we think of that?"
"Because we're not domesticated
birds?" Zoro suggested.
Everyone ignored him.
"You know, we could use someone
with your brains on the crew," Sanji said, wiping his eyes. "Don't you
Luffy looked inspired. "Yeah! That
would be cool! Can you play a musical instrument?"
"Luffy!" Nami glared at him
reprovingly. "I'm sure Mr Bu would prefer a more civilised position."
"But we need a musician!"
"Luffy..." her tone was menacing.
Luffy pouted. "Well, if he's not
coming on as the musician, then I'll have to give him the job of..."
"There they are! Arrest the
crew turned in surprise to see a group of Marines attempting to storm
onto the Merry. The first few paused in their charge and slung stones
"Hey! I was TALKING theuhhhhh..."
Luffy collapsed limply to the deck of the ship, followed in short order
by Chopper and Robin.
"Seastone," Zoro grunted, drawing
his swords. "You know, being a devil fruit user has some serious
"I DON'T NEED A CHICKEN AGREEING
"Chicken?" The lead Marine
double-taked. "Oh my God! It's Chikin Bu!"
The Marines paused briefly in their
"Chikin Bu? The one who went
toe-to-toe with Whitebeard?"
"I heard that his bounty is over
500 million berri!"
"I heard he turned down an offer to
join the Seven Armed Seas."
"I heard he was a giant chicken."
As everybody turned on the last
Marine to speak, Zoro flicked him a sympathetic look.
of this!" roared a fat Marine at the back, who was bedecked with medals
and insignia of rank. "If we catch the famous Chikin Bu, our
reputations will be made! Attack!"
The fight was short, but the
winners were never really in doubt. Even three people down the Straw
Hat crew were more than strong enough to take care of the Marines.
However, just when it seemed they were about to completely overcome
their attackers, there was a loud boom from the direction of the docks.
Turning, Zoro swore ferociously as he spotted a small group of Marines
adjusting the aim on their cannon. He charged towards them, knowing all
the while that he wouldn't be in time to stop them from firing...
seemed to move in slow motion. As pirate and Marine watched in awe,
Chikin Bu threw himself bodily in front of the cannonball, and
disappeared in the explosion which blew his clothes in all directions.
Silence fell and all combat came to a halt as they waited for the smoke
"Bukawk!" Chikin Bu emerged from the smoke, slightly singed, and
"Hey!" Luffy blinked. "He really IS a giant chicken!"
Chikin Bu looked at himself, then at the people staring at him, and
attempted an easy grin. Which failed miserably because he was, after
all, a chicken.
"A GIANT chicken!!!" The Marines pointed. "AAAAHHHH!!!"
"He's made a fool of us!" Their leader shouted. "After him!"
With the Marines in hot pursuit, Chikin Bu made a run for it.
"Luffy!" Usopp ran up to his captain. "My cousin, you gotta help him!"
Helpless, Usopp watched Sanji and Luffy join the pursuit, yelling and
waving steak knives. He covered his face with his hands as Robin
"So tell me, Sniper-san, do giant chickens run in your family?"
"It would explain a lot," Zoro muttered.
A/N: The joke behind the chicken is that in some of the HK subs,
Usopp's name gets translated as "Liar Bu". *flees from potential