Chikin Bu

A One Piece/Animaniacs Crossover

By Jaelle




Disclaimer: Not mine.
Rating: G. Parody.
Word count: 987.

A/N: Probably this will be funny only to, well, me, but never mind.



It was an unusual morning on the Going Merry. Nothing had broken yet. The crew were hanging around with nothing particularly pressing to do, watching Usopp read a note he'd been handed by a small boy earlier. The sharpshooter grinned.

"You look pleased," Sanji observed. "Some good news? A beautiful girl wants to date you?"

"Better!" Usopp waved the note in the air. "This is from my cousin, Chikin Bu. He's in town, and wants to meet up!"

The crew, with the exception of Zoro, sat up alertly.

"Wow, you're related to Chikin Bu?" Luffy's eyes were huge. "I heard he's a great pirate!"

"I heard he's a brilliant and talented thief!" Nami said enthusiastically.

"I heard he's extremely knowledgeable," Robin mused.

"I heard he's a giant chicken."

Everybody looked at Zoro. "What the heck are you talking about?" Sanji demanded.

"Hey, I'm just saying what I heard." The swordsman yawned.

"Did you hear it in a dream?"

"Do you wanna fight?"

"Bwawk!"

Everyone rushed to the gangplank. "Cousin!" Usopp cried. "Come on up! Everyone, meet my cousin."

The group clustered around the pirate as he walked on deck. He was tall and strong, wearing a colourful vest and an impressive pirate hat. A patch covered his left eye.

"Wow, it's an honour!" Chopper gasped.

"And a pleasure," Nami added, smiling flirtatiously.

Chikin bowed politely to the group.

Sanji returned the bow. "It's nice to finally meet someone with manners out here," he said, looking at Zoro meaningfully.

Zoro was looking at them as though they'd all gone insane. "Are you guys blind? He's a chicken! A giant chicken!"

"Zoro!" Nami looked appalled. "I'm sorry about that sir," she leaned in closer to Chikin and whispered, "He drinks."

"I'm not drunk!"

"Shut up seaweed-head, you're embarrassing us in front of our guest!" Sanji aimed a quick kick at the swordsman.

Zoro ducked and looked at Luffy. "Luffy, don't you..."

"Wow, you're so strong!" Luffy laughed as he and Chikin Bu engaged in a friendly arm-wrestling competition.

"Isn't he?" Usopp was having the time of his life as the rest of the crew (minus Zoro) clustered around his cousin. "Hey cousin, is it true you defeated Colonel Smoker of the Marines in single combat?"

"Woooooooow... you beat Smoker?" Luffy and Chopper's eyes were huge. "That's sooooooo cool."

"Bkawk-wawk," Chikin replied modestly. "Bwawk awk awk kwawk. Bu-KAWK!!!"

The crew fell about laughing. "That's brilliant!" Nami said, holding her stomach and trying to breathe. "Why didn't we think of that?"

"Because we're not domesticated birds?" Zoro suggested.

Everyone ignored him.

"You know, we could use someone with your brains on the crew," Sanji said, wiping his eyes. "Don't you think, Luffy?"

"WHAT?!"

Luffy looked inspired. "Yeah! That would be cool! Can you play a musical instrument?"

"Luffy!" Nami glared at him reprovingly. "I'm sure Mr Bu would prefer a more civilised position."

"But we need a musician!"

"Luffy..." her tone was menacing.

Luffy pouted. "Well, if he's not coming on as the musician, then I'll have to give him the job of..."

"There they are! Arrest the pirates!"

The crew turned in surprise to see a group of Marines attempting to storm onto the Merry. The first few paused in their charge and slung stones towards them.

"Hey! I was TALKING theuhhhhh..." Luffy collapsed limply to the deck of the ship, followed in short order by Chopper and Robin.

"Seastone," Zoro grunted, drawing his swords. "You know, being a devil fruit user has some serious drawbacks."

"Bukawk."

"I DON'T NEED A CHICKEN AGREEING WITH ME!!!"

"Chicken?" The lead Marine double-taked. "Oh my God! It's Chikin Bu!"

The Marines paused briefly in their charge.

"Chikin Bu? The one who went toe-to-toe with Whitebeard?"

"I heard that his bounty is over 500 million berri!"

"I heard he turned down an offer to join the Seven Armed Seas."

"I heard he was a giant chicken."

As everybody turned on the last Marine to speak, Zoro flicked him a sympathetic look.

"Enough of this!" roared a fat Marine at the back, who was bedecked with medals and insignia of rank. "If we catch the famous Chikin Bu, our reputations will be made! Attack!"

The fight was short, but the winners were never really in doubt. Even three people down the Straw Hat crew were more than strong enough to take care of the Marines. However, just when it seemed they were about to completely overcome their attackers, there was a loud boom from the direction of the docks. Turning, Zoro swore ferociously as he spotted a small group of Marines adjusting the aim on their cannon. He charged towards them, knowing all the while that he wouldn't be in time to stop them from firing...

"BWAKBWAKBWAAAAAKBUKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAKKK!!!"

BOOM

Everything seemed to move in slow motion. As pirate and Marine watched in awe, Chikin Bu threw himself bodily in front of the cannonball, and disappeared in the explosion which blew his clothes in all directions. Silence fell and all combat came to a halt as they waited for the smoke to clear.

"Bukawk!" Chikin Bu emerged from the smoke, slightly singed, and looking like...

"Hey!" Luffy blinked. "He really IS a giant chicken!"

"Bwak?" Chikin Bu looked at himself, then at the people staring at him, and attempted an easy grin. Which failed miserably because he was, after all, a chicken.

"A chicken?"

"A chicken?!!"

"A GIANT chicken!!!" The Marines pointed. "AAAAHHHH!!!"

"He's made a fool of us!" Their leader shouted. "After him!"

"BWAKAK!"

With the Marines in hot pursuit, Chikin Bu made a run for it.

"Luffy!" Usopp ran up to his captain. "My cousin, you gotta help him!"

"CHICKEN MEEEEAAATTT!"

"Nooooo!!!" Helpless, Usopp watched Sanji and Luffy join the pursuit, yelling and waving steak knives. He covered his face with his hands as Robin approached him.

"So tell me, Sniper-san, do giant chickens run in your family?"

"It would explain a lot," Zoro muttered.

End

Additional A/N: The joke behind the chicken is that in some of the HK subs, Usopp's name gets translated as "Liar Bu". *flees from potential thumpings*



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