biography - email:

Index of writing

(short story)

Everything is linguistic shorthand - a partial representation of the reality it trys to capture - language as revelation and as protection.

How much to reveal, how much can be revealed - by words.

The truth of this age - reified in this age - that all perspectives are partial .......        is a so-what.
Post-modernism........         so-what.          
I can say it about my own writing...........      so-what.

The truths all look different ...........  but in every difference lys the same truths. Perspectives obscure them, perspectives reveal them.  I find it hard to see that my life has been guided by love - the same truth in all the experiences. The divine void. How many shorthands, symbologies, lexicons? to explain this.  Brutally empty, divinely impersonal. An overwhelming space that destroys clinging.  Always present - an authorless field of ordered emptiness underlying all partial perspectives.  The ultimate dissolution of all solidities.  Its a story you can't sell - ageless. No copyright  -  put it on a website.  (Mind you I do claim copyright for printed material.)

The Prescription: 
a rural, farming upbringing - but not a farmboy - a townboy.

A sports addict in a land of sportsworship - but not in the exalted denomination (rugby - here in NZ) - a soccer player.  Always captain. 
At 18, fortuitously, a leg injury turned me elsewhere.

I was a bookworm who always read ahead of my age - in a coalfield of literature predominated by shale. No unordered worlds - except science fiction - which I devoured urgently.

A petrol-sniffer and bulemic at 15 - because I repressed most of my self-expression and negativity in order to fulfil my desparate need to please others and not see them suffer.

A withdrawn father who had a withdrawn father.  An unaffectionate mother who had an unaffectionate mother. Good moral parents who worked hard and cared according to the conventions of caring they knew. A 'first-life' marking time - in a cold, sober, moral, conservative, repressed universe of steady material gain with occassional 'excapes' to nature - to the mountains, forests and coast beyond the flat paddocks of sheep and scattered macrocarpa shelter belts in rural central southland.

A 'second-life' picking up the threads of past lives - after high school. Creative expression, spiritual journeys  (reigniting my connection to Buddhism), sexual exploration and healing - self-discipline and purification, traveling, moving, vomiting.  (Bulemia again from 20-23) Meditation, a social work degree (never finished), working with the mentally ill, animal rights, human rights, writing, not writing - painting, not painting.....drawing.  Beautiful cliche'd life.   A love of bicycles.

Every system of knowledge is a story of existence told countless times in aeons past.

Negotiating the Eternal Scum-deal Story

Every story is a transient obstacle
A wave riding briefly amongst waves
The same hand is performing the action
Though the puppet behaves very strange.
Subtle as the thoughts may be
Harsh with the violence of change.
Our universe is made of cliche'
And freedom knows the full range.

Today I live in Auckland, in the central city.  Today I'm  28 and willing to represent what I believe.  Today I'm poor by western standards yet still lightyears ahead of the real poor elsewhere.  Today I'm grateful for 10 years distance between being 18 and being 28.

Any feedback is very welcome, my email is:

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