Once we'd finished off them boy-lovers, Minimax gave us a rousin' speech, all about some other bunch o' poncy Greek gits what were claiming we weren't Romans but just barbarians, and they were the only true Romans. The very idea - me, Chlodeburdhh the Butcher, son of Hrolfnung the White, not a true Roman! Well, we wasn't havin' none o' that, so Minimax had 'is plans greeted with roars of acclamation. We was sure ready to prove to them poofy Greeks that we was the true Romans, or my gens isnt Pusillianum!
It took us a week o' hard marching south to catch up with them Greeks, tho. Typical! they was most all of them poncing around on their horses, 'ardly an 'onest footslogger amonst 'em). Trouble was, the further south we went, the 'otter we all got, til Minimax told us to put away our fur tunics. I was grieved to put off my faithful old bearskin, what had kept me warm and safe for thirty years now, but the General, 'e issued us all wif new tunics of some flimsy linen shit, with purple patches stuck all over it - I guess they was spares left over from when 'e recruited 'is Palatiny.
I had a peek under one of them patches, and saw this nasty Tick sign thingie, with "Just do it" written underneath. When I arst the general about it, 'e just muttered about lousy german sponsors who cut off 'is cash, so I left mine on.
Anyways, we caught up with them slippery Greeks down near the sea, at a place called Goats Head. I figgered there must be some fancy hill, so a couple o' boys and me slipped off and looked for this 'ere Goats Head Hill, but we couldn't find bugger all that looked like it, just a wide plain with some scrub dotted 'round the edges, and a big gulley running along on the left 'and side. When we got back, someone reckoned it must be called that cos of what the shepherds do - they're all byzantines after all.
So, there we were, kipping off peacefully, when some fool of a Briton comes galloping inta the camp, a-whoopin' and a-hollerin' about a night attack. Just goes to show ya, them Greeks are so desparate they'll try anything. So Minimax got us all up and at it. FOrtunately a bunch o' boys 'ad camped in the gulley, so 'e left them with orders to wait for the rest to catch up. Way out on the left he put the rest of that legion, with Thuggonius Metellus in charge, and a few horse archers to back 'em up. In the centre 'e posted me and the lads, a long thin line with archers to support us, and Dilbert with 'is Franks to our immediate right. No fancy new linen for them - they was still wavin' their angons about, and even at night they was sweating like pigs in their fur trousers.
The boss 'isself took the right wing, with a great bunch of horse archers and Alans and 'uns and I dont know what, and a few lancers to back them up. Once we was all more-or-less awake, we started marchin' forward in the moonlight. I saw a byootiful orchid blooming, perched on the edge of a pool of water with the moonlight limmerin' off the water, til our boots mashed down and splattered the water everywhere.
After half an hour, we finally caught sight of the Greeks. Thuggonius, on the left, was facing a long line of cavalry, already brandishing their bows and lookin' timid. Some of my boys were just faced off by a few rotten 'uns, yip-yipping and ridin' round in circles, the way they do, while the rest were facing a pile more of cavalry, while Dilbert an' 'is men was facing some hard lads from Herulia, and a few more cavalry and light 'orsemen facing Minimax and 'is swarms.
On the left, them Greeks just 'ung back and waited, while Thuggonius marched parst the gully and collected the strays from there, then marched on and - in the end - charged into them cavalry, wrapping them up round both flanks and pulling them apart pretty damn quick once he finally caught them.
In the centre we pushed forward fast as we could. Eventually, the Greeks decided to come to meet us, so they and the Heruls charged in. Dilbert and 'is lads did sterlin' work, and butchered them Heruls pretty much straight off, while we beat back the Greek cavalry, and I sent 'arf the lads off chasing them Huns away.
Minimax 'ad a few problems tho: 'e got 'isself a bit tangled up, then sent 'arf 'is lancers chasing some Moors, supporting them with a second wave of 'orse archers. Meanwhile he led the rest of the lancers in at the open flank of the Greek cavalry. While he and 'is boys were cutting the Greek cavalry up, the Moors played the lancers for a sucker, luring them in then killing them stone dead - whats worse, them fool horse archers were caught up in the rout and fled right off the field themselves.
Our lads caught up with the Huns, and - after a few unhappy moments - started driving them back, while I started wrapping round the rest of the Greek cavalry. Minimax, thinkin' things were a bit desparate, personally led a charge of lancers against the Greek commander and nobbled him good - but just as 'e did so, the Moors did for some more 'orse archers, so both wings on the right broke at the same time.
'That only left a scum of foot back by the Byzantine camp, and when they saw both Byzantine wings in flight, the 'ole rest of the army packed up and fled.
True Romans - bollocks!!
Observations:
1. Moonlit night removed the Byzantines' most obvious advantage - superior
manouevreability.
2. Reg Cv(S) against Reg Ax(S) + Ps(O) doesnt work if there are enough
Ax, as the Cv will usually get outflanked pretty quickly.
3. Wb(S) 3 & 4 deep are pretty lethal to KnF - especially with
a general leading the Wb.
4. So, apparently, are Lh(O), even tho they have overlaps against them
:/