Battle Report - Early Tang vs Kushan

Lo Fat cursed and spat the mouthful out - "Too much damn sand again" he grunted, and threw it at the head of his chief aide and foodtaster, Lei Lo. "Now, where are these damn nomads, again?"  Peering through the morning light, Pu Ki thought to himself, "All I can see is too much damn sand, and the wind is getting up already. How are the archers going to cope with that?"

Llap Gok uttered the strange yelping sounds that pass for speech among the Turks, and his translator explained "His Lordful worshipness reports that half the enemy are on each side of that big hill in the centre: his scouts also have seen many Huns stretched out to the left, and suspect many footmen lurk in the trees that adorn the crown, like lice in the Royal Beard."

Lo Fat gave him a look, trying to work out exactly who was being insulted this time, then coughed up more sand. "Well, it looks like dusty work today. Let us take up the formation of Five Gods Farting - I'll take the left, with the Turks to my left. Pu Ki, you take command of the right. The Turfan can line up behind you, and act as reserve - they better keep a close eye on the right, tho, my twitching shoulder tells me there'll be a flank march - this Emperor of dog people, Mhi Ki, always flank marches". Llap Gok uttered a gutteral laugh, and extended his arm to Pu Ki. "It's on the end of his arm, it must be a hand" Pu Ki thought, and nervously shook it. "My Highful Lordness says that it takes a brave man to face the might of the cataphracts unaided." interjected the translator.

Lo Fat laughed, "As Kung fu tze said, it only takes a small fire to heat a metal oven". His subordinates looked at him blankly, so he snorted, "Erudition is wasted on peons! Come, let us dance!". He caught up a handful of gingered rice stalks, and gestured sternly to them.

Lo Fat, meanwhile, had approached speedily, taking care to send his Pu 'she archers probing the wooded hill for ambushes. Little did they find, except a column of hillmen apparently paralysed with indecision [Mike had consistently crap Pip dice for this command, and far too many things that needed it]. His cavalry, advancing on a broad front, eventually pinned down the enemy horse archers, slaying many with the first onslaught. The rest of these then slipped away to one side, revealing a glittering column of catphracts, starting to deploy out into fighting formation - a daunting prospect.

Lo Hung, commanding the Turfan auxiliaries, sent his horse archers galloping forward to cover Pu Ki's flank, and turned all his nobles to face right, awaiting the arrival of flank-marcerhk reluctantly.

Pu Ki, after briefly throwing up over his horses' neck, ordered his force forward, cavalry in the centre, Pu Ping archers on the right, and horse archers on the left. After almost a mile had been covered (Pu Ki scrubbing at his horse all the way), they finally came upon the Kushan lines, who apparently had remained paralysed since the commencement of battle. The first sight was a thin line of bowmen, who skirmished briefly in front of the cavalry, before being ground into the dust-storm.

Then a column of cataphracts loomed up to the right of the Pu Ping, who hurriedly started deploying. They held off the first cataphract charge, while the cavalry pressed onwards, pursuing another line of light horse. The second charge of cataphracts crushed one company of the Pu Ping, while the rest fell back to reorganise - however, they'd distracted the cataphracts long enough, for Pu Ki - after pausing briefly to discreetly vomit again -  then led a charge of cavalry straight into the teeth of the duststorm, tearing the Kushan horse archers in pieces with their savage attack.

Lo Fat, meanwhile, had reordered his cavalry, and with a wave of a chicken drumstick urged half of them on, personally leading them to crush the remaining horse archers that faced him, while the rest fell upon a column of archers and cut them to ribbons.

The pride of the Kushans, their catphracts, were still intact, but such was the havoc rendered amongst their horse archers that the cataphracts threw up their hands in horror, and fled the savage field.
 

For the Chinese:
1.    Columns suck in duststorms
2.    Dont attack an unreliable ally until you've set up to crush him instantly (doh!!!)
3.    When your opponent has an unreliable ally and a flank march that never turns up, victory isnt exactly
       difficult.

For the Kushans:
1.   Columns of irregular cataphracts *really* suck in duststorms
2.    LH get caught and killed by Cav real quick in bad weather
3.    If you're going to go to the tactical defence, then you should maximise your terrain troops in ambushes.