JOBSWORTH             Jeremy Taylor

C             G7       C  G   C
I was just an ordinary Englishman,
 A7                       D
'Til I got me uniform and hat,
    G7                      C
And ever since that hour, I exercise me power,
  D                 D7             G
Preventing you from doing this and that.
                      G7                C
You'll find me on the turnstiles at the zoo,
D     A7                             D   D7
Or outside the Roxy, marshalling the queue,
           G       D          C          G
And if you turn up late, when I'm on the gate,
     C              A             D
It's no good asking me to let you through: I'll just say


Chorus:
G                               G7      C
Jobsworth, jobsworth, it's more than my job's worth.
A                                       A7       D
I don't care, rain or snow whatever you want the answer's NO!
G                           G7           C
I can keep you standing for hours in the queue
                 G           C         D       G    (F)
And if you don't like it you know what you can do.



When you're tryin' to see what the butler saw,
I'm the one who says "Come on, move on"
And if you want to stay, you have to bleedin' pay,
And even then you can't stay very long.
You may be almost droppin' dead from thirst,
Or waiting for a toilet, fit to burst,
But I've got the key, and you won't get that from me
Until I've had me little grumble first.

Chorus


Fishin' in the River on a summer's day,
I s'pose you think that water's all for free
But I've got news for you, everybody pays his due
And right now it'll cost you 50p
And don't think you can picnic on the grass -
Public amenity, my arse!
And if you want fresh air, you'll find some over there
But I don't feel inclined to let you pass (without a back-hander)

Chorus


"Mornin' skipper, what can we do for you?"
"Don't call me Skipper" - "Alright chief, don't shout!"
Whatever you require, We're very sorry squire,
But its ten to one we've just sold out.
'Course you could try that shop around the block,
But I doubt if he's got any left in stock
And if you think we'll get 'em through inside a month or two
I'm afraid you're in for a nasty shock - cock.

Chorus


When you get back home, you will heave a sigh
And thank the Lord that you've got rid of me,
But it won't be very long before your telephone goes wrong,
And you need someone to fix your T.V.
And add to that your lights have all gone out
And your central heating boiler's up the spout
And when you're tearing your hair, and the wife's going spare
You'll hear us in the distance calling out  ( 2,  3,  4 )

Final Chorus:

Jobsworth, Jobsworth, it's more than our Jobs worth
We don't care, rain or snow, whatever you want the answer's  NO!
(Whatever you want the answer's...  ) until audience responds..
We can keep you standing for YEARS in the queue,
And if you don't like it, you know what you can do: you can lump it

And if you don't like it, you know what you can do!