MY OLD MAN'S A DUSTMAN		Lonnie Donegan

Oh, my old man's a dustman, he wears a dustman's hat,
He wears gor-blimey trousers and he lives in a Council flat.
He looks a proper nana in his great big hobnail boots:
He's got such a job to pull them up that he calls them Daisy-roots!

One day whilst in a hurry he missed a lady's bin.
He hadn't gone but a few yards when she chased after him.
"What game d'you think you're playing", she cried right from the 'eart,
"You've missed me - am I too late?" "Nah - jump up on the cart!"

Oh, my old man's a dustman, he wears a dustman's hat,
He wears gor-blimey trousers and he lives in a Council flat.
"I say I say I say, my dustbin's full of toadstools."
"How do you know it's full?"
"'Cause there's not mush-room inside!"

He found a tiger's head one day, nailed to a piece of wood.
The tiger looked quite miserable, but I suppose he should.
Just then from out a window a voice began to wail:
It said "Oi! Where's me tiger's head?" "Four foot from his tail!"

Oh, my old man's a dustman, he wears a dustman's hat,
He wears gor-blimey trousers and he lives in a Council flat.
"I say I say I say, I found a police-dog in my dustbin."
"How do you know he's a police-dog?"
"'Cause he had a policeman with him!"

Some folks give tips at Christmas, and some of them forget,
So when my old man goes 'round there he spills some on the step.
Now one old man got nasty, and to the Council wrote.
Next time my old man went 'round there he punched him up the throat!

Oh, my old man's a dustman, he wears a dustman's hat,
He wears gor-blimey trousers and he lives in a Council flat.
"I say, I say, I say..." 
"Wot, you again?"
"My dustbin's absolutely full of lilies."
"Well throw 'em away then."
"I can't, Lily's wearing 'em!"

Though my old man's a dustman he's got an 'eart o' gold.
He got married recently, though he's 86 years old.
I said "Oi - hang on Dad - you're gettin' past your prime."
He said "Well, when you get my age it helps to pass the time!"

Oh, my old man's a dustman, he wears a dustman's hat,
He wears gor-blimey trousers and he lives in a Council flat.
Next time you see a dustman, lookin' all pale and sad,
Don't kick him in the dustbin - it might be my old Dad!