THE CRACK WAS NINETY IN THE ISLE OF MAN

G
  Weren't we the rare auld stocks, spending the evening getting locked,
D                               C
  In the Ace of Hearts, and the bar stools were engaging,
G
Oh but the Buck was down be the dock, the boat she sails at 5 o'clock,
D                                 C
  Ha, hurry on, said Whack, but before we're there we'll all be back,
     G
Lads carry him if you can:
                        D              G
Oh the crack was ninety in the Isle of Man!

Before we reached the Alexander Base, a hell of a ding-dong we would raise,
And the part of the ship that breaks forth as the boat she sailed out from the port,
Landed up in Douglas Head, a parting thought of an ache in bed,
To the dining-room got shown by a decent-looking woman -
Say lads, leave that if you can:
Oh the crack was ninety in the Isle of Man!

Next morning went for a ramble round, saw the sights of Douglas Town,
Ended up in a mighty session in the Pub they call Mick Garvey's.
We all got drunk be 1/2 Past 3: to sober up we went swimming in the sea,
Back to the digs for the spruce and tea. Whilst waiting for the 'Rosie'
We all drew up our plan:
Oh the crack was ninety in the Isle of Man!

That night we went to the Texas Bar, came back for me horse and car,
Met Big Jim and all went in to drink some wine and Yeates's.
The Liverpool girls, the young one said, were all to be found in the Douglas Head.
McShane was there, and Tired Shirts, the foreigner quaar one trying to flirt,
Saying here girls, I'm your man!
Oh the crack was ninety in the Isle of Man!

Well Lugger fancied his good looks, for by a young woman he was struck,
The Liverpool lad was by her side and drove the jar into her.
Sure Whack thought he'd take a chance, he asked the quaar one how to dance,
Down on the floor they stepped it out: to Whack it was no bother.
Everything was going to plan:
Oh the crack was ninety in the Isle of Man!

Well the other woman fancied Whack. The man stood there till his lass came back,
Then be all the end of Whack: Whack was landed on his back.
The Police Force arrived as well- it happened to a couple of them as well.
Ended up in Douglas Jail until the Dublin boat did sail:
They called up every man:
Oh the crack was ninety in the Isle of Man!